We have generally heard that a man is supposed to initiate a date with a woman. That a man needs to approach her then convince her to be his date. After incurring all the efforts, he will win her heart and they will embark on a romantic journey…
However, what if women were the ones to do the initating? Let’s be honest , we live in a world where role reversal and equal opportunity means that it is more acceptable for women to step out and make the first move .
But how do we do it in such a way that we don’t come across to masculine or aggressive? And how do we do it with flare and confidence?
Here are 11 quick tips to helping you become an alpha female in the dating game :
Have Confidence In You
The first that thing you need to have is self-confidence. Don’t start to overthink everything before you’ve even had a chance to see if he likes you for you . Comparing your physical appearance to others or jumping to conclusions based off your own lack of self confidence won’t help you have the fearless attitude you need.
Men love a confident woman ! This isn’t about becoming perfect just so you can suit or attract him . It’s about owning who you are right now whilst you are working toward where you want to be.
It is very important for you to know that what a man looks in women. If you are wanting to attract and date a man to build stable future with , you will have to leave any sort of childish behaviour in the past .
This means choosing to not play games or addd drama just to get his attention . Men want to know that you are a woman who adds value to his life and are someone that has emotional and mental stability …because to them that represents a good team player.
Dress To Impress
First impressions are usually a lasting impression. And if you are wanting it to be a memorable one from the start , then dress to look the part. Make sure your style reflects your personality and wear what makes you look and feel good.
Don’t be in a rush to show too much skin or be overdressed on the first date , try to leave something to the imagination .
Don’t Be Shy With Flirting
If you are genuinely interested in a man, try some physical flirts and gestures with him. Do not be too vulgar in your gestures, because it will come across as a lack of self respect or control.
Let’s not forget that men take physical actions such as flirting as a sign that you are literally interested in him . It’s also a great way to show him that you are fun and confident within yourself .
Dating should always have an element of fun as well as romance attached to it. This isn’t about never coming across serious , but rather knowing when to just relax and have a good laugh with him or at yourself. It helps take some of the pressure off both of you and shows that you are someone who is enjoyable to be around.
Teasing and having fun with him will make him feel that he is someone special in your life.
Choose and ideal date
If you are asking him out on a first date , then it’s always good to choose somewhere casual . Make sure the first date is something that you can both enjoy .
Don’t make it too formal or something that is too planned out , as this takes away from his role as a man and leader . Within the date also give him an opportunity to take initiative as well so he doesn’t feel emasculated in anyway.
Be the conversation queen!
Many times, men feel nervous on their first date. It will be the same for you as well , but clearly being able to talk to one another is something neither of you can avoid . So nervous or not , it’s always good to stay authentic and light , especially in the beginning.
For instance, you can ask him “was it troublesome to find the place?”, or “how was your day?” Gradually, move forward to serious talks like “what are your expectations from the woman you would like to get along with?” His answer will reflect whether his expectations match your qualities or not.
Try to be aware of what your body language is saying to him. Try to make contact with eyes and avoid sitting with your arms crossed or do not lean, because this indicates that you prefer to stay at a distance from the date.
Good posture is usually an indication of self assurance and confidence in a woman, which men love!
Make the conversation a two way street
Try to make two-way conversation. See to it that you both are interacting actively throughout your date. Do not be too bold. Try to reflect more of your feminine side. Show him your maturity. If he is cracking some jokes laugh on them ( if they are funny!)
Make him feel that you are very much interested in his talks. Allow him to speak as much as he can. In this way, you will even get to know more about him. Talk about things that interest both of you.
Avoid conflict and drama
Hopefully your date is running smoothly, but there might be times where you accidentally put your foot in it…or he does. Don’t forget that you are two strangers still getting to know each other , so a little more sensitivity may be required.
Avoid getting into arguments and alway act in a mature way ( even if they don’t ). At such times, a sensible decision is to change the topic. Again, you can also ask him for a dance or if you are both finished with the meal, go for a long walk before returning to your homes.
Liquor and Drinks
There are many things, which we do not know about our date. One of such thing is about whether or not they have a drinking problem. If you can have a first date without any alcohol , it gives you a better chance to be able to make wiser decisions and better judgement of character.
If you are not sure about your man’s alcohol consumption, then try to avoid alcoholic drinks during your date, if not, this can further create problems. This can spoil your entire plan and efforts that you have taken so many days to get along with your dream man.
Remember that dating doesn’t always go to plan and we don’t always meet the right guy straight away . But it should be an uncomplicated and fun process that dines’t leave you constantly disappointed or drained in the process.
Don’t be afraid to initiate and approach a man , own who you are and know that the right man will always make you and your confidence( or lack of!) feel valued .