Did you know that there are three tiny little words that are literally destroying relationships every single
I can tell you right now, these are words that we use quite frequently in normal conversations. Why
then do they have so much power that they can make our marriages end in divorce or make everything
Well, in this blog, I’m going to reveal to you what those three words are and why they can be toxic, and how to make sure that you are aware of what it is that you’re speaking on a daily basis so that you can have a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
TOXIC WORDS | Why These 3 Small Words Are KILLING Your Relationship
These three words are probably something that you will be fully aware of just how much you speak
them every day without realizing it, and that’s what I want you to do. I want you to start living
consciously in your relationships so that you can be accountable for what needs to happen in order to
be able to make it amazing.
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to my blog. I’m Renee Slansky. I’m a professional dating and
relationship coach and I help women from around the world find the love they desire and deserve.
Okay. I’m super excited to do this video because I really want to talk about the power of just these three
So, let’s jump into those words right now.
The first one is: Always.
Now, always can be a positive word. I will always love you. I will always care for you.
However, it can also be a really negative word. You always do this. You always make me feel this way. You always say you’re going to do blah, blah, blah, and you never do.
Always is basically taking everything that somebody has done, usually basing it off one event actually, and then saying that they do it every single time. It’s like encapsulating who they are and everything that they do, and basing it off this one event and then saying, “Well, that’s how it always is”
What it does is it makes that person feel incredibly inadequate within that relationship and within themselves. If you’re saying to your spouse, “You always make me feel this way”, you are literally saying that every single time that they affect your feelings is always in a negative way.
Because let’s be honest, when we say these sorts of phrases, I’m talking about saying it in the hype of emotion or reacting to a situation or having it said in a really toxic way.
Now, that person then starts to think, well, if I always do this, or if I always make you feel this way, then
A) you haven’t seen anything else that I’ve done,
B) you don’t acknowledge all the good stuff that you have felt with me and
C) maybe you’re not the right person for me, or maybe I’m not the right person for you.
What I suggest in this context, instead of using the word always and labeling it as every single time this is how I feel when this is how you do, say,
“Did you realize that when you did this, this is how I felt, or When you don’t do this, this is how it makes me feel “
Take it more into a period, a time, or circumstance rather than just a blanket statement for every single event in your relationship.
The second word that we need to talk about is: Never.
Never, when it’s used in the wrong way, can really be toxic. A positive way that we could use never is,
I never want to be able to go to an adventure without you
I never want to stop loving you
Obviously, that’s really romantic, but most of the time we use it in a negative way. We say,
You never do those things that I want you to do
You never really listen to me
You never want to understand my perspective
Again, we are basically taking that one word and labeling the whole relationship and the whole person as a disaster or unfulfilling or as something that’s not giving you what it is that you truly desire or what the relationship needs.
That can be really toxic because what we’re doing is we’re disregarding the things that they actually do, and instead just focusing on the things that they aren’t doing by saying that they never do it.
Once again, when it comes to this word, if you find yourself speaking it, try to remove the word and again, put it just into the context of what’s happening at that moment. For example, if you find that they never listen to you, what you can do instead is say,
I really appreciate it when you take the time to listen to me.
You’ve completely flipped the statement then. Instead of condemning, because that’s what the word never does when used in that context, it condemns.
Instead of condemning, we are then affirming what we do like and what they do right.
I appreciate it when you sit down and you actually listen to me
Thank you for listening to me this time.
We’ve got to start feeding what we want to grow instead of just condemning people and their actions when they don’t do things right all the time.
Lastly, the word that is killing relationships is the word : Fine.
How are you today? I’m fine. Are you okay? Is there something wrong? Fine, just do it, right? I mean, I think us ladies are the queens for using the
Clearly, when we say that we’re fine or fine go and do that it is so not fine.
Men, if you’re reading this blog when she says fine, it’s not fine.
What fine does is it shuts off that person?
It denies what you truly want to say and feel because you’ll just say “fine” and you’re not expressing or explaining those feelings because clearly you’re not fine, and it shuts the other person off.
It either makes them believe, “Oh, she is fine,” which sometimes guys think you really are fine when you’re not, and it misleads him for where you’re at and then he gets in trouble for not knowing how you felt, even though you weren’t actually expressing how you felt because you just said you’re fine.
Or, it makes him not even want to know how you are because clearly you aren’t wanting to communicate properly in a mature way.
Saying you’re fine when you’re not is immature.
It is a block in communication. It is a block to the person that you love and it isn’t resolving anything.
What you need to do in this instance is you need to say,
Actually, I’m not okay.
I’m not fine
No, I don’t appreciate if you do that
No, I’m not happy with that.
That helps set a boundary and boundaries are healthy in a relationship.
It also opens up communication. Now, because men and women communicate differently, what I suggest is explain why you’re feeling like crap or explain why you don’t like certain things instead of just using the word fine, or instead of just expressing through anger or sadness.
Let’s remove the guessing game and the blocks of communication in relationships by removing the word fine.
All right, girls and guys,
I hope this blog has helped you, and let me know if it has, by sharing this blog “Thanks, Renee
Honestly, I think you’ll now be really aware of just how often you say those three words in your relationship.
If this video has blessed you, then hit the share button, don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel, and give me a big
thumbs up. Share it with someone who maybe needs to watch it, and I’ll see you guys next time. Bye for