When I hear the word unhealthy, I always think of food.
It might have something to do with my secret love affair with chocolate and calzones, but we can leave that for another discussion. Probably the last thing that comes to my mind is online dating.
What my brain is failing to realize is that as is the case with chocolate, almost anything can become unhealthy if it’s not used correctly and in moderation.
As a professional online dating site reviewer (yes, that is a career…hooray 2018!), I spend hours a day sifting through online dating sites. You could say that I’m the poster child for lack of moderation.
This constant connection with the industry and those involved does give me a nice insight into the right way to approach online dating and the wrong, unhealthy way of approaching it.
What I’d like to talk about today are three ways that online dating can become unhealthy.
Notice that I don’t say IS unhealthy. It’s an important distinction. If something can BECOME unhealthy, it means that it is inherently healthy and you can do things to prevent your journey from turning sour.
You Detach From the Real World Too Much
We already live in a society where technology is running amuck. Our faces are usually buried in a cell phone or tablet, and we get frustrated when we’re forced to interact with people face to face.
If you allow yourself to become too immersed in your online dating life, you’re going to end up living on your own social island and will have issues once you find or don’t find that special someone.
The overplayed scenario goes like this. A guy or girl wants to find love, so they start online dating. They become hooked on the process and spend every waking minute responding to messages.
Weeks go by, and they start to forget what the real world looks like. Every minute of their day is focused on finding that special someone.
They finally find that person (or don’t) and pop their head back out of the sand. Their friends are gone, their job has passed them by, and everything and everyone has adapted to them being gone.
Don’t let online dating suck you away completely from the real world around you.
You Allow Yourself to Become Overwhelmed
The idea of a more efficient and effective form of dating is pretty awesome. The problem with online dating, as is with a lot of technology, is that sometimes it can work way better than you expect it to. You may wake-up one day to find hundreds of messages waiting for you from potential suitors.
Awesome, right? Yes and no.
It’s great to have all of that attention, but online dating can quickly feel like a job when you start responding to all of these people. If you don’t have a plan in place, the exciting process of finding love can quickly morph into a second job that leaves you emotionally and physically drained.
To avoid this, utilize the technologies that the sites provide you. Use message filters, blocking, or send out your own first messages to control the flow.
Set your own personal time limits. Dating should be fun; don’t let the fact that it’s going too well leave you feeling overwhelmed.
It Becomes an Obsession
Here’s a tough love news flash. If finding that special someone is the only thing that you think about, then you may be obsessed with the process. When you become obsessed with the online dating process, your personal life is going to suffer, and you’re not going to have much success finding someone.
The dangers of detaching from the real world and becoming overwhelmed become realities when you allow yourself to become obsessed. The secret to fighting this is self-awareness.
When you start to realize that online dating is taking over your life, you need to have the courage and strength to take a step back. If you don’t have that strength, you need to excuse yourself from the process until you have that self-control or you’re setting yourself up for disaster.
The bottom line here is that online dating is an amazing technological advancement that can really help you find that special someone you’re looking for. As long as you don’t let yourself fall into the trap of becoming obsessed with the process, it can be a fruitful endeavor that can have lasting implications on your life and your happiness.
About The Author
Professional Online Dating Site Reviewer