It’s not easy admitting to friends and family let alone yourself when we are not in the most ideal relationship. The problem isn’t that we had this ideal picture in our head of how its meant to be, no the issue is that we are settling for less at the cost of our own joy. It’s easy to feel guilty for wanting more or hiding the truth from everyone purely because you don’t want to be judged or you are in self denial. But there are some definite tell tale signs or rather comments that are frequently heard from women going through a bad relationship. They are lies that they tell to try and convince not only everyone else but mainly themselves for why they are with the wrong man.
1: He’s just going through a phase, its not forever…
The thing is with phases is that they have an expiry date, and if he is still doing the same thing over and over again to hurt you or your relationship then chances are its not just a phase. There are some things that are just too important in a relationship and they should be there right from the start i.e..: trust, selflessness, real love , commitment etc..
2: I think it will be better once we move in together…
Whilst living together usually does give you a chance to really see if your relationship will last or not, it shouldn’t be the last string to try and save it. You should both be able to have a healthy , for filling and healthy functional relationship whilst not living together first.
3: I think having a baby will fix it….
Band aid babies are never a good idea,even if you are married. An extra child will automatically add extra stress, eat up more “together time” and take away precious sleep.
4: We’ve been together for so long now…..
This doesn’t mean you have to keep staying with them, no does it mean if you break up you will never find someone ever again! Stop guilt tripping yourself into thinking you have to put up with their crap just because you have done for so long already.
5: It’s OK, the fairytale isn’t realistic anyway…
Yes it is realistic even if it doesn’t involve Disney songs! Don’t kid yourself into thinking being unhappy and settling has to be realistic! You are worth more and clearly you are yearning for more. Dreams do come true and wanting to be in a happy and satisfying relationship is not an unrealistic dream, its actually something completely normal , justifiable and achievable!
Relationships are hard work and each one has it’s own season , but lest not become so focused on what we want it to be that we lose sight of what it really is. Your happiness is your responsibility , and choosing to love yourself first and not settling for second best doesn’t mean that you will end up single or alone. Yes there is the awful breakup process, but don’t let a temporary pain hold you back from a lifeime potential of happiness.
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