So get this…
About four years ago the internet was taken by storm by a rediscovered certain guide published in 1938 in the Click Photo-Parade magazine.
The guide contained “helpful” dating tips and rules for women to follow if they wanted to please their gentleman. Some of them were quite reasonable, others not so much. If you think you know how outdated and hilarious the latter sound to the modern ear, think again – it’s worse.
But for all the hilarity and mild outrage those photos have sparked, one thing became crystal clear – dating women have it a lot better then they used to. Or do they?
Yes, outright ridiculous rules women had to follow in the past to be at least remotely “dateable” are the thing of the past. But some rules are still there and they seem to be taking a lot of much-needed sincerity and fun out of dating.
With this in mind, let’s look at 5 dating rules that definitely need to go and follow their predecessors into the abyss.
“The Man Should ____ First” rule
You have definitely heard of some iteration of this rule. Don’t ask out a guy, don’t contact him first, don’t make romantic gestures that can be considered too “clingy”.
This can, of course, sound completely right for some of you and there’s nothing wrong with that. Let him make the first step. Whilst 48% of women prefer when their date makes the call after the first date, there’s no harm in sending him a follow up message.
But if you think that this stigma forces you to be more passive than you would prefer, then it’s time to break out of it and take a leap.
If you have had an amazing first date then text him first. If you see a cute guy who is definitely sending the signals your way, ask him out. Getting him a pair of matching pillowcases one month into a relationship is a tad too match. But presenting him with a set of promise rings several years down the road when the circumstances call for it is perfectly fine.
It’s all about timing and circumstances.
Act “this” and “that”
When looking for someone to date long-term or at least to have a fun time with, the last you want to do is to pretend to be someone you are not. So do all those “be mysterious”, “act hard to get”, or “act interested even if you’re not” rules actually make sense? No, they don’t.
You can always work on how you present yourself and become better at navigating the deep waters of dating. You also don’t want to off-load too much on your date and scare him away.
But completely swallowing your emotions or acting as a completely another person on a date doesn’t sound like a solid groundwork for a successful relationship, whatever form it might take in the future.
The “where does it go” conundrum
Stepping into any relationship requires you to know your own priorities first. It might have been imprinted in your brain that every relationship has to “lead somewhere”. That “somewhere” in other people’s mind usually means the altar. If it doesn’t – break it off. But this kind of relationship might not be what you envision for yourself right now.
Focus on what you want. And if something you want involves seeing what’s out there, trying online dating, or simply having fun, then go for it. Enjoy yourself.
Avoid “touchy” subjects:
In today’s world, it is nearly impossible to live in a vacuum and not develop an opinion on at least some political and social issues. Most dating rules would advise you not to bring those opinions to the dating stage.
This indeed might be a risky tactic. If you prefer to keep your dates light or simply don’t care about this kind of stuff then, by all means, stick to lighter topics. But here’s this: not avoiding but rather facing these so-called “touchy” issues can serve as a powerful bonding catalyst and give you with some common ground.
What’s more, you might filter out some unwanted candidates early on. That’s always a plus.
Follow the strict rules
Here’s the final twist. We keep talking about the dating rules that you should or shouldn’t follow, which ones to break and which ones to break. But the truth is, do what feels natural and never feel pressured into a situation you’re not comfortable with.
Every relationship is different. Every rule can be a good starting point but it’s important to know when to take it to heart and when to take it with a grain of salt. If it applies to your case, great. If it doesn’t, don’t force it. You’re dating a person and not a textbook case.
Remember that there’s a difference between sound dating advice and suffocating rules. Just be smart, perceptive and know how to communicate what you want. You’ll do just fine.
About The Author
Lina Dzido is a passionate content creator, senior editor, and PR manager of Awesome Stuff 365. During work hours you can find her writing about everything under the sun. During off hours you can find her reading about writing, shamelessly geeking out, or being manipulated by her cat. You can witness it or contact her via Twitter.