It’s interesting how many women I have met lately that are in unhappy relationships yet don’t seem to have the strength to leave because they are either justifying their partner’s mistreatment or believing different lies that they tell themselves.
Relationships take a lot of hard work as we know but don’t kid yourself, they aren’t meant to be a constant battle or only second rate! The thing is we can start to forget what’s normal and acceptable after having months or years of abnormal relationships; we lose perspective and even hope as we begin to settle for second best.
But the truth still remains that you do deserve better and that real happiness is achievable, however it’s up to you to decide to make the break and take the risk of the unknown rather than staying in the unhealthy familiar.
So let’s look at a few misleading reasons we keep telling ourselves as to why we should stay with him:
1: “I’ve invested so much already, so I have to stay with them.”
Big lie number 1!! If you have been dating a man for years and are still in a constant battle, never getting anywhere and being unhappy then it’s time to reassess. A big indication of whether a relationship is healthy and right is when there is peace and progress.
Being constantly drained and going around in circles because you are consistently trying to change him ( or change for him) is never going to be for filling.
Yes you have given a lot including years of your life, blood sweat and tears (and it has probably been exhausting) but don’t feel that your effort is the sole reason you have to stay.
It’s time to start investing in your own happiness and making the decision to make your life easier by giving your time to relationships that have equal give and take, joy and are EASY. It’s not meant to be that hard and if it has been difficult from the beginning then chances are it won’t become less easier.
You are no less of a woman because you decide to walk away after so many years of trying.
2: “I’m too old to start all over again with someone else.”
Since when does dating have an age limit?! I’ve heard of 70 and 80 year olds finding love all over again, so stop limiting your happiness to an age bracket, you are entitled to a lifetime of it!
As women we can start to freak out that we haven’t ticked all the boxes by a certain age, we feel like people will judge us or that we have failed or worse that we eill end up alone.
Whatever you meditate on your attract into your life, so you can either sit in a corner and sulk or stay with a man who is second rate or you can believe that a new and wonderful love awaits you on the other side.
Stop labelling your situation just to make an excuse to not make the change because it’s too hard. You always have a choice and your happiness should always be a priority no matter what age.
3: “I won’t fall in love again, or worse no one will fall in love with me.”
How many times did we think we’d never get over that ex and then we do and we fall in love again( and again and again!) Our happiness shouldn’t be based on someone else’s love for us, but rather the love we have for ourselves.
Don’t stay with someone who mistreats you just so you can feel loved, because someone who loves you wouldn’t be making you feel miserable!!
If you decide to end a toxic relationship do it because you have an understanding of your self value and worth, don’t even think about the if’s and buts’ of the unknown.
Yes we always take the risk of not feeling the same for another or perhaps even being single for longer than we like, but staying in an unhappy relationship is a guarantee of a lifetime of unhappiness.
4:” Maybe I’m not meant to be really in love like other people, maybe this is it.”
NO it’s not, there is a whole lot more waiting for you (trust me!) Stop believing that you aren’t worthy of more because you definitely are and that desire in you to have more is there to remind you of it!
You are the one responsible for your happiness and direction your life takes, so if you aren’t willing to be complacent with a mediocre relationship then get up and make some better choices today. You were never meant to settle and you don’ have to.
5:” This is normal…”
Since when is being unfulfilled, miserable or joyless normal?! Yes everyone has different circumstances that can effect relationships and no couple is alike, but do not fool yourself into thinking that what you have is the norm.
Change is hard and breakups are awful because it means heartache, risk of the unknown and everything else that goes with it, but stop letting your present situation warp your perspective. You do deserve more and it does exist you just have to be brave enough to chase after it.