One of the worst questions I used to dread as a single woman was “Why are you single?” …like it was some massive unexplained mystery to which I held the key.
Sometimes we choose to be single, other times we don’t. And in this instance, I am talking about the latter.
If you haven’t been acquainted with what the 5 reasons are why you are single, then let me debrief you:
1: You don’t know your own value
The relationship you have with yourself determines the relationship you have with another man. Your worth and what you think you it is , sets the standards in your life. The moment you lose sight of your value it the moment you lose the boundaries that protect self-love .
2: You don’t know what you need or want
Dating without any purpose or direction is like searching for a needle in a haystack. For all you know it could be right under your feet but you can’t recognise it.
Without clarity on what you want and need , you search for the wrong thing or find it by painful trial and error.
3: You keep dating the same guy over and over again
We all have a type , but just make sure that type is a guy who treats you right. This isn’t about having to settle for boring and safe over exciting and chemistry . It’s about learning to fall involve with what is good for you. Keep dating the same guy and you will keep getting the same result.
4: You haven’t dealt with your baggage
Quick fixes aren’t going to get us long term progress and fulfilment . Whilst it would be nice if we could magically wipe away our issues , it’s never going to happen. You have to get rid of the baggage and leave the past in the past so that you don’t keep self-sabotaging your present and future.
5: You can’t identify love
f you don’t know what love really looks like…how can you identify it? I’m not taking about the Hollywood version that paints a Disney like fairytale. I’m taking about love in action…not just the feeling.
By now a lot of you can probably relate to at least of those reasons. And if you aren’t sure then all you need to look at is the negative patterns in your past or present circumstances.
You have probably heard me say a thousand times, that you are the common denominator in your life. And it’s true.
We don’t get to where we are without either consciously or subconsciously taking part in the decisions and actions to get there. We make our choices; other people just influence them.
For the most of you who are reading this, I’m guessing you don’t want to be single. You are ready to find an awesome relationship with an equally awesome man.
That is actually something that is more tangible than you could imagine, and the only thing blocking you from getting there, is yourself.
You see we are the key to the decisions in our life and that’s why it’s vital to learn to conquer your own struggles before you search for someone else.
I’m not saying you have to be perfect, or that the right man can’t inspire you to really have your breakthrough.
But we can’t spend our days longing to be rescued by someone else when in fact we must rescue ourselves.