There is something wonderful about meeting someone that you can share and build your life with.
It’s easy to think that just because you feel something strong for your partner that you will always be on the same page.
Unfortunately, healthy and strong relationships are not built on feelings alone and growth within each person is inevitable.
So, what do you do when you grow at separate rates or in different directions? How do you still insure unity within change?
If you are worried that the stress, confusion and conflict in your relationship is caused by certain growing pains, here are 5 ways to tell if you are reading from the same book or writing separate ones altogether:
1: You just don’t seem to have as much in common anymore
You no longer seem to be able to relate to things that you used to connect on before. Whether you or they have changed and grown as a person, this could now mean that different interests have developed.
As your character develops and you learn more about yourself, it’s no wonder that who you connect with changes because your own interests, morals, priorities and thought patterns can become totally different.
2: You crave more attention apart then together
When you have more fun away from them, then with them, it’s a good indication that you are drifting apart. Unity takes work and compromise in a relationship, but you should always be craving to be with them, more so than apart.
Your partner should be adding to your joy and existence, not hindering you from feeling happy or moving forward.
3: You are starting to resent them for everything
This is because you have become frustrated with who they aren’t, as you have become more who you are.
You may find yourself starting to pick at them for small insignificant things, because internally you may be frustrated that they aren’t on the same page as you, or simply because you feel you can no longer connect with them.
4: You feel like you have to explain everything to them
You become increasing frustrated with them, because you are either constantly pulling them up to your level, or having to explain your new thinking and actions towards them.
When we develop emotionally and mentally at a different level to our partner, it makes us become less patient with them. We expect them to be on the same page and get annoyed when they aren’t.
5: Indifference has set in, along with a lot emotional space
The opposite to love is not hate; it’s indifference. When you start to feel nothing at all towards your partner, because of the lack of connection, understanding or unity, that’s when you know your relationship is in deep trouble. Wanting space either physically, emotionally or mentally from your partner is a strong indication that you are growing apart in different directions.
So here’s what to do…
Growing at different rates is something more common than we think, that’s why it’s important to date someone from the get-go that you see compatibility with.
When two people start off as one and then slowly drift apart it’s integral that you bring it to light. If you are feeling the void increasing between you both, then you need to have a talk about it.
Avoiding or accommodating for the elephant in the room isn’t going to solve the issue.
This isn’t just about liking the same common interests, but wanting the same things and both being able to adapt to change whilst communicating how you both feel.
Unity is not always built on convenience and common interests, but on choices , sacrifice and awareness of what is causing division.
As seen originally on Plenty Of Fish