Heartache is something that can really take its toll on every part of our life. When things just don’t go to plan and you get burnt badly in the process, it’s hard to move forward. We know that time will make everything better, but it’s easy to get stuck in that moment of sadness for longer than we want to.
Everyone tells us that we will be OK eventually, and sure we know it, but getting through the present season can be a real struggle. However, there are certain things that you can do that can really help ease the pain and speed up the healing process. Even if you think it is impossible to forget the person you were with, there is a way out of this black hole.
Getting back into the dating game, may seem like the first logical step for you, but if you haven’t dealt with the underlying pain it will be difficult to move on. Here’s 5 practical ways to help you move on:
1: Get it all off your chest, heart and mind
When there is unfinished business at hand, it’s hard to get closure. However, closure is sometimes something that happens way down the track. We can’t stop moving forward just because we haven’t gotten the resolution we wanted. Healing is a process and so is moving on. If there are still things on your heart and mind that you wish to say, then write it all down. Whether it’s in a letter or email, or even if you feel like you need to speak about it with someone, just get it out. Getting it out of your head and out into the open will help you feel less emotionally frustrated. This doesn’t mean you have to send or say these things directly to your ex, in fact it’s better if you have little to no contact with them, it’s more about the action of getting your emotions and feeling verbalised.
2: Get busy with life
There is no better time than to start to learn to love life again, then now. Whilst this might seem impossible, you must learn to focus on other things other than just your pain. Take up a new hobby, learn a new skill or refine one you already have. Keep your mind and hands busy and try to stay active. When we are busy and focused on achieving goals daily we tend to not have time for anything unproductive or negative. Try to build new and positive habits in your life each day that will keep you occupied with life and all it has to offer.
3: Change the scenery
Familiarity will always bring back memories. Don’t go back to the places that you used to go with your ex. Mix it up and try new territory so you can build new memories. If your home or room is a constant reminder of them, then change it up and move furniture around. Buy fresh bed linen and flip the mattress. Get rid of their scent with fresh candles or a good clean of the house. Choose new locations to socialise that don’t make you wince with painful reminders of what you to share. Or why not go on a new trip somewhere?
4: Stop looking back at the memories
The more you keep opening old wounds, the longer it will take to heal. Get rid of all those Facebook and social media memories. Throw out old photos and put anything that will remind you of them out of site. It may seem extreme, but any visual trigger can really set you back from moving forward. Try to control your mind as well, be conscious of where your thoughts are taking you. It’s easy to drift off and think about them, because that’s what you used to do. Try and catch yourself and change your thought of direction before you start to indulge in those painful memories.
5: Expand your social life
It’s time to get out of the slump and beyond your comfort zone. This doesn’t necessarily mean dating like a lunatic, if you aren’t ready then it’s wise to wait. But don’t isolate yourself. Stay social and stay accountable to your friends. This is a new chapter in your life, and it’s a good opportunity to build new connections and people in your world. Getting over a broken heart may be a process, but it doesn’t have to hinder you from still enjoying moments along the way with good people .