It’s amazing how easily it is to forget just how much of an impact our words have on our relationships. Whether it’s a dying habit that you aren’t aware of, or perhaps just something that you do after getting into a routine, saying negative words is something we all need to be accountable for. Here a 5 common words you might be guilty of saying or hearing in your relationship that have anything but a positive affect:
When someone says, they are ‘fine’, chances are they are anything but! It’s funny has this simple word can be so final and yet so daring at the same time. Open communication is so important in a relationship. If you have reservations or thoughts about something, then you need to speak up instead of just closing the discussion with a “fine”.
Most of the time when we think of the word ‘always’ with think of a positive promise. However, more often than not we can also use it in a negative way. Telling you partner that “they always do such and such” or that you “always have to clean up after them…” etc. are a couple of negative examples. Make sure you are building you partner up, even when you are trying to get a point across or communicate your frustrations. Try using the word “sometimes” instead of “always” so they don’t feel like a failure.
When we start to work the word ‘never’ into our conversation it usually isn’t for the best reasons. “You never help me anymore”, “you never romance me”, “you never keep your word”. Like the word ‘always’ it has a very definite meaning, even if it isn’t true. When we are frustrated by our partner’s inability to give us what we want and need, our words start to take on an infinite form. The truth is he or she probably has done those things in the past or still occasionally, so saying that they ‘never’ do something isn’t exactly fair.
This is usually in response to questions about how we feel. A little bit like “fine” . “nothing” doesn’t resolve the real issues and emotions at heart. If something is wrong than you need to not live in fear of telling you partner what it is. Nor should you just wait and let them try and guess. Be clear, open and honest about what’s going on in your mind and heart.
This is a tricky one, because sometimes it can mean things really are cool and OK, but other times it can mean the complete opposite. If you aren’t OK about something than say so. Whether it’s doubt, disappointment or confusion, don’t let a little two letter word get in the way of really discussing what’s going on. Our words have the power to build up or tear down the people and relationship we are in. So choose to make a conscious effort every day to keep your vocabulary in check.