The trials and errors of love can sure knock us around a bit and leave us feeling a little worse for wear!
They say you can’t choose who you fall in love with (which I don’t agree with), and so many women often throw themselves head (and heart) first into a relationship with a man who has more issues than hashtags could cover!
The problem is, if you are an overly generous loving woman who always gives above and beyond, you may find yourself in danger of dating a man who will unfortunately take more than his share.
This isn’t about labelling people or giving up on someone but rather just being aware of the problems that can arise from dating or marrying someone who has is broken and needing to learn self -love.
1: You end up giving more than you get back.
If you feeling a little drained, exhausted and just overwhelmed then it’s probably because you have been giving more than you receive.
When you date a broken man it’s natural to give more than him, not because you are better than him but usually because he is just incapable of being able to give at the same level.
The truth is he needs that little bit extra, the only problem is that if you aren’t refuelling yourself you’ll start to burn out and feel depleted and perhaps even defeated.
The best thing to do is to set boundaries, emotionally as well as physically, that way you can have time to gather your thoughts, emotions and energy and focus on loving yourself as well.
2: You think that you can fix him.
Sometimes men need us to be the hero, which is great up until the point where we think we can heal or fix them ourselves!
Yes we can definitely aid them in making progress and we can love them unconditionally at the stages they are at, but there has to be a point where you realise that you can only help someone so much before they need to learn to help themselves.
3: You start to overcompensate for him in a way that brings lack into your life.
This basically means that you begin to allow for who he is and his problems so much so that it effects other areas of your life negatively.
If we continue to either make excuses for someone or overcompensate for their problems they never fully understand that they need to do something about their situation. Broken people usually prefer to lean on someone for strength rather than discover how to be strong on their own.
4: You keep going round in circles and it always seem like such hard work.
Chances are you keep running into the same issues over and over again with him i.e.: two steps forwards 5 steps back. This type of relationship is hard work, not just occasionally but daily and in every way, because they need your attention a whole lot more.
Dating someone who is unhealed and has no self -love will also hinder the progress of your relationship. It will take sacrifice and encroach on a lot of other areas of your life as well.
5: You start to lose friends and time for yourself.
This usually happens by default because one of two reasons: you don’t have time for them because all your energy goes into your man or 2: They don’t agree with the relationship you are in and can see that it is taking its toll on you.
The key to any relationship is finding that balance, and being committed to someone that has the scales tipped to his side all the time means that other areas in your life will start to suffer.
6: You lose perspective on boundaries and self-love.
Loving a broken man is a journey, for both of you, the only problem is that there is no definite outcome of happiness and no guaranteed time frame of when (if ever) you will reach the other side.
Because of this a lot of the time we cling to hope and live in the future of “when” rather than addressing the reality of “it is”. It’s easy to not only lose the sense of boundaries but also you own self -worth because you are so busy focusing on trying to love someone more than they can love themselves.