Ok so you’ve taken the plunge and entered the dating arena again and have possibly found a good egg so to speak!
This is awfully exciting because we all know how hard it can be to find someone you click with, are attracted too, is emotionally available , has a sense of humour, has sorted out his baggage and actually isn’t a fiction of our imagination!
So whilst it’s easy to become infatuated with this wonderful piece of human, we need to also stay grounded and remember the golden rules so that it lasts and has a chance to become a long term thing.
1: Keep it casual for awhile
Like I said it’s easy to be swept off our feet especially when it’s mutual and the chemistry between you both is like an intoxicating wine (just to paint the picture!). So whilst you may want to spend every single day with them, don’t. Have some down time in between seeing each other; keep the dates, casual, fun and light with time limits. This gives you a chance to not only miss each other but also gain some perspective. Hold back on the intimacy for a few weeks, (or heaven forbid a few months!) give yourself a chance to know his character first before you know his …err…touch.
2: Set a Budget
Might seem a bit stupid, but trust me when your head is in the clouds, your heart is on your sleeve and your feet are floating, your wallet will be an open coffer ready to be drained , because “who can put a price on love?!”.
Well I can I say it’s got a $60 limit ha! On a serious note, dating someone means a lot more social events, dinners, drinks, concerts, mini trips and not to mention buying a whole new wardrobe!
Before you know it you have spent a few hundred dollars extra a week just to pay for it all (because after a few dates we share the cost ladies, we don’t drain the man!) A good way to work it out is only go on one more expensive date a week and then do other activities in between that cost less like exercise, coffee, beach days etc.
Don’t feel cheap or guilty for suggesting more budget friendly dates, be sensible and realistic because let’s face it being broke isn’t sexy!
3: Guard your heart
This is important ladies! It’s so easy to fall for someone quickly and offer our little heart openly when all those little butterflies and gooey feelings have gone to our head. But give yourself a chance to really get to know him first before you decide he is “the One” and start tattooing his name on your chest.
Love is blinding and it’s easy to get caught in the moment and offer yourself when you haven’t actually had time to know his character. Don’t be in a rush to fall in love, find the balance between being vulnerable but also cautious. Your heart is a treasure so guard it and save it for a man that’s worthy of possessing it.
4: Find a balance
This means not putting your all and everything into your new hot crush, remember that you still have to sleep, eat and work!
Stay focused, independent and remember what your daily responsibilities are even though your priorities do change it doesn’t mean that the rest of your life should be neglected.
It’s important to have some space and time apart so that you can gain perspective but also so you can maintain who you are as a an individual. So make time for your other activities, arrive to work on time, get enough sleep, wash your smalls and go food shopping!
5: Remember your friends
Remember those people you use to hang out before you got swept up and infatuated with your new man?!
Yes good friends will understand that a new beau will mean he will consume the majority of your social time, but it’s important not to abuse or neglect the long term relationships you have already built in your life i.e.: friends.
Make a point to still see them and interact regularly, to ask about their lives and LISTEN to what they have to say.
Whilst our world might be revolving around our new romance, we have to stop and check ourselves and make sure that we are still nurturing the people in our lives, it keeps us grounded and as well as makes us a good friend. Nothing worse than a “friend” who does the ‘disappear and reappear act’ depending on whether they are single or not! #notcool
6: Have Fun and take it as it comes
I’m talking about having unrealistic expectations here and jumping the gun when it comes to your ideal outcome of this new flame. It’s natural for us to have specific notions of how everything should be and turn out, but let’s not put pressure on the situation and the man, because disappointment isn’t fun.
Take it as it comes, enjoy each date separately , hope for the next date, but don’t start planning the next 6 months of your life with him just yet.
You’re getting to know the man , this is the important part as you need to see if he is consistent , and compatible with you, so take your time, enjoy yourself and if its meant to be then the natural progression will occur.