Long lasting relationships begin with you!
Most of us have heard the expression that you have to love yourself first, before you can love others. While this is certainly beneficial, there are many other qualities that you can cultivate in yourself to help you achieve long lasting love.
Relationships may involve two people, but how you and your partner comport yourselves as individuals can make or break a relationship.
This Eternity Rose guide will give you the key areas of self-improvement you can work on to attain the relationships you desire:
Be a better listener
Listening is the cornerstone of all good relationships. Wanting to be truly seen and heard is a primary need that most people fulfil through their relationships. Being a good listener can also help you to avoid arguments with your partner and to navigate inevitable arguments more smoothly.
In order to be a better listener, cultivate active listening skills.
Active listening is a technique used by counselors and conflict mediators. It requires you to be fully present with the speaker, observing their mannerisms and behavior, to fully comprehend what they are saying, often repeating back your interpretation, and then responding.
Many of us participate in conversations half-heartedly, using the time the other person is speaking to develop our next statement. Active listening will teach you to be fully present so that you achieve greater understanding and avoid miscommunication.
A mindfulness practice can be equally beneficial to long lasting relationships. Cultivating mindfulness through meditation, breathwork, sitting in stillness or moving practices like yoga, enable you to develop more mastery over any situation.
Mindfulness also decreases stress and anxiety, which reduces reactiveness and defensiveness in conversations.
A mindfulness practice can also provide heightened awareness so that you may notice that your partner is upset, but be aware that it has nothing to do with you.
Alternatively, it can help you to identify your own triggers so that they do not cause you to lash out at your partner.
Keep your word
Being reliable is important for enduring relationships. Your partner should be able to depend on you and trust you. The first step towards being reliable and staying in integrity is keeping your word, with others and with yourself.
Do what you say you are going to do, be on time, and be authentic in your interactions.
Being honest with yourself provides the foundation for being completely open and authentic with others. Hold yourself accountable to the same standards you would for your partner and you will attract the type people who you can stay with for the long haul.
Boost your self worth
It is important to have good self-worth, without being egotistic or appearing arrogant. If you have an unhealthy and overly inflated sense of self-worth, this will likely cause you to disregard your partner and their feelings, and to act as if you are more important.
On the flip side, low self-worth may cause you to become overly dependent on your partner to make you feel good. This can cause the relationship to suffocate.
For a successful relationship, strike the right balance so that you are confident in yourself without a partner and earnest in your interest and care for others.
Develop your interests
Related to having a healthy sense of self-worth, you also want to develop your individual interests.
Many people make the mistake of adopting all of their partner’s habits and likes early in a relationship. This can become problematic because we cannot depend on one person to fulfill all of our needs.
Be sure to have hobbies and friendships to enrich your life in addition to your partner.
This can be especially important to long term relationships because it helps to maintain interest. If you spend all of your time with your partner and share all of the same interests, it often feels exciting at first.
But, as your relationship grows and time goes by, if neither person is bringing new experiences to the table, interest can start to wane.
Relationships thrive on gratitude and appreciation. Practice raising your level of gratitude for everything in your life, whether you are partnered or single.
Show your appreciation to your loved ones and to the person who hands you your coffee in the cafe. These skills will serve you well in a long-term relationship by training you not to take anything for granted.
Cultivating certain skills and tendencies in yourself can help increase your capacity for long-lasting relationships. Practicing gratitude, cultivating self-worth and reliability, increasing mindfulness and boosting your listening abilities will serve your relationship and bring you more joy as an individual.
Danielle is a loving and caring person who runs a successful at home business. She currently writes for Eternity Rose and in her spare time she enjoys horse riding and living life to the fullest.