Keep your relationship on fire while planning a wedding.
Getting engaged is one of the most exciting times of your life but planning a wedding together can also be one of the most stressful. Not only will you and your future spouse have to make some major decisions (and compromises) together, you’ll also be forced to combine your dreams, values, family traditions, and your bank accounts.
Even if you’ve been dating for years, you can expect to learn a lot about each other and how to handle challenges together while planning your wedding.
Here’s how to stay in love throughout the process, so that the two of you come out of it even closer than you were before.
Talk About Your Expectations
The first step in the wedding planning process should be talking about your expectations together, not only for the day of the big event but also what you expect from each other.
Sit down and discuss what level of involvement you expect to have and how involved you’re expecting your partner to be.
If you have your heart set on choosing the flowers and stationery, while your partner is more excited about planning the music and food, now is the time to find out.
Whether you decide to divide up the duties or approach each one with a team effort, having a plan in place will prevent hurt feelings or arguments in the future.
Agree on Your Budget Upfront
Your next conversation should be about your individual finances. Before you start signing any contracts, agree on a budget that’s realistic for both of you and won’t leave you with debts that can put stress on your new marriage.
While your big day is important, it shouldn’t prevent you from reaching your future goals, such as buying your first house.
Hire a Wedding Planner
Coordinating with a San Diego-based wedding planner (or one from your local area) could save you money and a lot of stress. She’ll know where you can stretch your budget because she knows what has the most impact. Even small decisions can add up to a lot of savings when you work with a pro.
She can also help review contracts and negotiate with vendors to keep your vision on track and on budget. Not only that, but professional wedding planners often get vendor discounts or perks that you wouldn’t get on your own.
And, of course, she’ll help coordinate everything on the big day so the two of you can focus on each other, rather than any issues or last-minute details that might come up. And that’s really what it’s all about.
Pick Your Battles
Learning how to compromise with your future spouse will be invaluable throughout the wedding planning process and during the rest of your lives together.
Your big day should include elements that reflect both of your values, family traditions, individual tastes, and even your hobbies.
When you find yourselves disagreeing about something, step back and think about how important that particular element is to you. If it’s really not that big of a deal, let it go.
On the other hand, if it’s something you have your heart set on, speak up, and let your partner know.
Sit down and discuss the details you’re disagreeing on one at a time when you’re both in a rational frame of mind. Don’t pounce on your partner the moment you’re alone or hold onto resentment because you didn’t get your way.
Talk about it and try to find a reasonable compromise that works for both of you.
Lean on Each Other
It’s totally normal to feel overwhelmed at times during the planning process. When that happens, the best thing to do is to lean on each other. Talking things out can help you see things from a different point of view.
Regardless of whether the issue is wedding related or not, working together can only help you solve a problem faster. And, learning that you can count on each other is one of the biggest perks of planning a wedding.
Don’t Take Each Other For Granted
While it’s important to lean on each other for support, don’t get into the habit of taking each other for granted. When you’re planning such a major event, it’s easy to forget about everything else, including romance.
Make weekly date nights a priority and table any wedding planning discussions for another time. Do nice things for one another, such as making dinner, stopping at the grocery store, or doing the laundry.
Little things can make a huge difference when you’re stressed.
Most importantly, don’t forget to tell your partner “thank-you.”
Making sure your future spouse knows he or she is appreciated is so important for keeping the love alive.
Put Your Partner First
You’re both going to get a lot of unsolicited advice from friends, family, and possibly even strangers when you announce that you’re engaged. Putting your partner’s vision for your wedding day first is crucial.
Don’t allow pressure from outside your relationship to set you and your partner against each other.
Those outside influences, whether they’re well-meaning or not, won’t go away after you’re married either. As you become your own family unit of two, it’s good to learn how to shut out outside influences that could drive a wedge between you and your spouse.
Planning your big day can be overwhelming, but don’t let it overwhelm your relationship. Setting aside time to connect with each other and learning how to compromise will go a long way toward keeping your relationship strong. Following these pre-wedding tips will help you focus on the life and love that you’re building together.