Sorry to burst your bubble, but the guy that you’re with may just not very well be your soulmate.
In this blog, I’m going to give you some solid reasons why.
You may not want to hear it, you may not like it, but the truth is the situation or the relationship that you’re in right now is just not healthy and it’s not meant to be.
Hi, everyone. I’m Renee Slansky. I am a professional dating and relationship coach and I help women build healthy, thriving, incredible relationships.
We’ve all heard that term of soulmate or twin flame threw out there. I personally think it’s a little bit of a woo-woo thing, and it can really set us up to have this unrealistic expectation about what real partnership is and what real love is.
For those of you that have clicked this video, My guess is, is that you may have some doubts whether or not the person that you’re with really is your personality and that you’re meant to be spending the rest of your life with.
And if you haven’t checked out my other video on how to know they are your soulmate, I suggest going and looking at that.
I want to give you seven solid reasons to actually see that the person you’re with isn’t your person.
1. They aren’t committing to you.
Somebody that wants to be able to spend the rest of your life with is somebody that is already doing something about that in the beginning.
If you’re constantly having to fight for the basics in commitment, I can tell you right now that person isn’t your soulmate.
When we think of the term soulmate, if we kind of break it down into more logical and realistic ideas, it’s more about somebody who actually wants to do life with you.
They complement who you are. They make you a better person and they actually make life enjoyable.
Meaning, they’re not going to abandon you and they don’t have any sort of trouble with actually doing the whole different stages that commitment in a relationship requires.
2. You aren’t growing or progressing.
I believe that somebody who you should be wanting to spend your life with as a life partner, as a husband, as a wife, is somebody that you’re able to grow with and somebody that is actually moving through life with you.
Relationships aren’t meant to stagnate and they aren’t meant to go backward.
And if you’re just sitting there and you’re not really moving anywhere or going anywhere, meaning you aren’t moving through to the next stages of your relationship, you aren’t talking about a future, or you feel like you’re just going around in circles, then chances are you’re actually on different pages.
You’re wanting different things. Or they’re not able to handle the growth needed in order for that relationship to be happy and for you to feel fulfilled in it.
3.You don’t have consistent peace.
Do you know what is crazy? The number of women that I talk to is convinced that the person that they are dating is their soulmate, yet all they have is constant conflict and anxiety.
Now, if you’re somebody who has anxiety normally in your life because maybe you are just an anxious person, or you’re somebody who overthinks things, that’s okay.
However, your relationship shouldn’t have constant cause for anxiety.
- You shouldn’t be left walking on eggshells.
- Shouldn’t be left guessing whether you’re going to see them next, or where it’s all going, or what’s happening, you’re scared to have conversations.
Doesn’t mean that it’s always going to be smooth sailing, but somebody who actually is your soulmate is somebody who wants to make the relationship peaceful and harmonious.
And automatically becomes peaceful and harmonious anyway because you’re on the same page and you’re heading in the same direction with that security and peace of mind and heart.
4.They are not your soulmate if you are trying to convince them of the basics.
If you think that you’re settling for second best, I can tell you right now you are if you’re trying to convince the person that you’re with to give you just the basics. If you’re somebody who has a history of always settling and always striving in relationships, chances are you’re doing the wrong thing or you’re dating the wrong person.
Somebody who actually wants to do life with you, and who is meant for you, and who you’re compatible with, and who you feel at peace with, and grow with, won’t be struggling to give you the basics like communication, trust, respect, time, effort, making you a priority.
If you feel like you’re constantly pulling teeth here, you’re striving to just get a date with them, or you’re striving to just make the basic fundamentals work, I can tell you right now they probably aren’t your person.
If that is something that you struggle with, where you feel like you set yourself up to believe that every person that you date is your soulmate, and then you get really disappointed, or you end up settling for second best, or the relationship ends, chances are that it’s probably because you aren’t actually aware of what real love looks like and what you need to do to set yourself up to be able to have a loving, healthy relationship.
That’s why I’ve put together free training, which you can grab right here. This free training is kind of your go in there, black and white, no BS answers, and a strategy as to why love currently sucks for you.
I’ve put this together just for you ladies so that you can have some clarity on why you’re currently struggling with love and dating and what you can actually do about that so you can break that cycle and potentially find somebody who really is your soulmate.
All right, before I jump into the next three points, don’t forget to subscribe here on my YouTube Channel and give me a thumbs-up, and let me know if this blog is helping you by dropping a Thanks Renee down below.
5. You will know that he is not your soulmate because it is on and off, on and off, and full of drama.
Somebody who is made for you, somebody who is compatible with your spirit, somebody who makes you a better person, someone that makes you feel loved and fulfilled is somebody who is going to be with you through thick and thin.
They’re also going to be somebody who doesn’t tolerate drama. I know what it’s like to get caught in that dramatic cycle.
It’s almost something that becomes really addictive if you haven’t done the groundwork first. What I mean by groundwork is understanding why maybe you like drama.
Is it because you actually crave attention because you don’t know how to validate yourself?
Like I said, if you feel that you’re in this sort of position where you are on and off and there is a lot of drama, whether it’s in this relationship that you’re in or other ones, then please go check out my free training.
Because honestly, it’ll help explain why you do that, why you’re attracted to that, even though you don’t want to be, and where it will eventually lead you if you keep engaging in it.
6. They’re toxic or your behavior becomes toxic when you’re with them.
When we get into relationships with people that we shouldn’t be in relationships with, it brings out the worst in us.
And sometimes we can think, “Am I crazy? Am I somebody who has all these bad qualities and I didn’t realize that they were there?” That’s not necessarily true. I believe that whoever we align with does bring out the best or the worst with us.
So, therefore, if you’re with somebody who, for starters, has quite toxic behavior, I can tell you right now is not going to encourage good behavior within you.
This is why you need to stop and ask yourself, “Is the person that I am currently in love with or putting on a pedestal as my soulmate somebody who does bring out the best in me?
Are they somebody who makes me want to be a better person? And are they a better person when I with them?” And if the answer is no, well, then the answer is they’re not your soulmate.
7. Big, glaring red flag that they are not your soulmate if they’re with somebody else.
Now, whether they are married to somebody else or in a relationship with somebody else, that should be the first sign that they are not meant for you. And I know that we can use the whole idea of the perfect person, wrong timing. I personally don’t believe that that is a theory. I think that the perfect person for you.
Well, let’s say a perfect person doesn’t exist.
However, the ideal person for you won’t be in another relationship with somebody else because they’re for you.
They’re not for somebody else. So there’s no such thing as the wrong timing, right person. It’s just wrong timing, wrong person.
So if you’re hung up on somebody or if you’ve already started building a relationship with somebody who actually is in a relationship with somebody else, I’m sorry, but it’s not about the wrong timing. It’s simply about the wrong person.
Now I want you to tell me below what you thought about this blog.
Do you believe that the person you’re with is your soulmate, or have you started to realize that maybe you’ve actually got it mixed up and you realize that you deserve more, that the relationship that you’re in isn’t entirely healthy, or that person isn’t edifying you?
Now, don’t forget to check out my free training as well, Why Loves Socks And How To Make It Not Suck. All right, girls, hope that this blog has blessed you. If it has, give me a thumbs up, don’t forget to subscribe on my YouTube Channel, and drop a Thanks Renee. And I’ll see you guys next time. Bye for now.