The problem with love is there isn’t a textbook that is catered to each and every relationship and apart from the obvious signs, it can be hard to really know where we are going wrong.
More often than not we don’t realise that our relationships are in dire need of help before it’s too late or beyond repairable. So here is a list of 7 key signs to give you an idea when you may need to pay more attention to what is happening in your own world:
1. Complacency Has Set In
In other words you have gotten too comfortable with not addressing issues or doing the hard work that is required to keep things fresh and strong. The ‘it-doesn’t-matter’ attitude can be dangerous because once we begin to let our guard down, we invite temptation to step in. It has even be said that the opposite to love is not hate but indifference, and it’s this indifference which can be the silent assassin!
2. There Is a Distance Between You Two
Often we confuse distance with physical space rather than emotional and mental de-attachment. If you feel like you and your partner are no longer connecting or talking as deeply or as frequently as you used to then chances are there has been an invisible wall formed between you two. The best way to overcome this is to make the effort daily to reconnect through affection and conversation.
3. Communication Has Become Shallow
This is most likely because the distance between you two has started to grow daily, therefore you no longer feel the need to talk in depth or go beyond the normal pleasantries. Good, effective communication is the glue that keeps any relationship strong and is essential to the progression or demise of one. Try to have some quality one on one time where you both make the effort to talk about real feelings and thoughts.
4. Intimacy and Affection Is Not Present or Regular
Intimacy isn’t just about physical contact or even affection but rather an emotional connection between the two of you which needs to be fed on a daily basis. It is true that being physically intimate and affectionate will help build this , but it is also important to be able to learn to build a bond through words and simple actions as well.
5. Your Words Have Changed
The biggest indication that your relationship is in dire need of help is the words that you speak over it, because what you say is symptom of what you are thinking. Words such as “fine”,“ I don’t know” and even “ I don’t care” are all signs that there is a real lack of joy, fulfilment and deep peace. What we speak we manifest into our life and relationship, so be sure to check yourself before you speak and try tocultivate a vocabulary that speaks life into your relationship and partner!
6. There Is More Conflict Than Peace
Constant fighting is also a big sign that there is an underlying problem in your couple. In a healthy relationship you can fight but still have a sense of peace all round, as you know that your arguments are a way through to growth and progression. However when there is more turmoil, disappointment and aggression rather than happy times, something needs to be addressed.
7. You Are Becoming Too Independent of One Another
Whilst it is important to be a whole and happy individual and have your own sole purpose in the world, it is altogether another thing to live a separate life from one another (if you are together). Even couples in a long distance relationship are able to have a unified existence, so really it isn’t a matter of schedules but rather of conscious choices that you make.