Is love to blame for your mental state?
The World Health Organization reports that one in four people are now affected by mental health disorders. But is your relationship to blame?
No relationship is perfect. Most couples will have the occasional argument or get frustrated with one another every so often. But more often than not, a relationship should leave you feeling good about yourself.
Unfortunately, there are many toxic “fish in the sea” that could leave you feeling just the opposite. If your relationship is making you feel depressed, self-conscious, or manipulated in some way, it could be a sign that marriage courses are in your future.
Are you unsure whether your loved one is the source of grief in your personal life?
Here are 7 ways to tell if your relationship is affecting your mental health.
You feel physically ill around them
Your partner should be making you feel good about yourself. You should be excited to be in their presence. In fact, studies show that married couples feel greater happiness and a significant reduction in stress when they are spending quality time together.
But if you’re in a toxic relationship, you may be feeling more anxious around your partner than excited.
Gaslighting is a common form of emotional abuse wherein a manipulative partner will make you question your thoughts, opinions, memories, and even your sanity. This form of manipulation can lead to low self-esteem, a sense that something is wrong even if you’re unsure of the source, and anxiety.
You don’t like yourself anymore
You may be familiar with losing your sense of self in a toxic relationship. It is not uncommon for those in abusive relationships to feel like they don’t know who they are or don’t recognize their behavior or actions.
One sign that your partner is hurting your mental health is if you don’t like the person you are when you’re around your them. You may find yourself doing things that you aren’t morally or physically comfortable with or it could be that you don’t stand up for yourself the way you would if someone else were treating you a certain way.
It’s normal for couples to have disagreements on occasion. But, if your arguments are outweighing your happier moments, you are definitely in the wrong relationship.
Constantly arguing, feeling guilty, or feeling the need to apologize are signs of manipulation in a marriage. They can also trigger severe stress and anxiety, which can be detrimental to your physical and mental health.
Marriage courses can help teach you and your spouse to have compassion for one another, which can help you problem-solve in a healthier way. Couples should listen to one another, show empathy, and have respect for each other – even when you disagree.
Feeling emotionally drained
Spending time with your spouse should fill you up, not tear you down. If you feel emotionally exhausted after talking with your spouse, it could be a sign that your mental health is suffering.
Unhealthy relationships are often exhausting because your partner is always trying to manipulate you or get their way, which means you’re in a constant state of walking on eggshells and reading into everything they say. This tiring back and forth can make you feel mentally drained.
Your communication has faltered
A great relationship is all about healthy communication. It’s a pattern of talking and listening to one another. Instead of looking to your partner as your enemy, you view them as your co-worker in problem-solving.
When partners don’t communicate, it adds unnecessary stress to a relationship. It can also affect your mental health because you feel like you are the only one trying to make things better.
If this area of your relationship is lacking, you may find our online marriage course incredibly helpful. Here we will learn about healthy communication techniques and teach couples to identify harmful speech triggers and apologize.
They bring out the worst in you
When you feel like your spouse’s bad behavior has worn you down, it can make you feel like they have brought you down to their level. You may feel like they bring out your absolute worst qualities, such as:
- Quick to anger
- New aggression (throwing things, slapping the table as you’re talking)
- Not being a good friend to others like you used to be
- Becoming overly critical
- Unsure/unwilling to defend yourself or close friends/family
- Constantly worried about what your spouse is thinking
- Feeling guilty all the time
- Holding grudges
If you are now displaying negative traits that never used to be a part of your personality, it could be a sign that your mental health is suffering. This is commonly a result of being pulled into your spouse’s negative, manipulative web.
You are depressed
Depression is a common sign of mental health issues. This could be triggered by a traumatic event in your relationship such as a physical assault or you may just be feeling inconsolable about your spouse’s unchanging behavior.
A 2017 survey revealed that millennials aremore likely to attend marriage counseling than any other generation so far. This is good news because marriage courses can do wonders for struggling couples.
Taking a marriage course can teach couples how to see things from their partner’s perspective, teach compassion, and learn how to build emotional intimacy.
If therapy isn’t working and you feel gaslighted or mentally abused by your spouse, you may want to consider separating or staying with a close friend or family member until you can figure out how to move forward.
When there is violence in a relationship or you fear for your life, you should get out of your situation immediately. Be sure to inform the police about your plans to leave your abusive relationship.
Your relationship should make you feel happy, supported, and comforted. However, if your relationship is affecting your mental health and leaving you feeling depressed, it may be time to start taking marriage courses. Doing so can help you and your spouse learn how to communicate and work together to strengthen your bond for the better.
About The Author:Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.