Ok ladies it’s time to get a few things cleared up, to stop over analysing his every text and move and answer a few basic questions we all seem to ask at one point or another about the men in our world:
1: Why can’t he commit?
Every guy matures at a different rate and often their level of commitment in a relationship depends on a few factors:
1) his parent’s relationship / marriage which contributes to his baggage
2) his career and drive to succeed feeling like he needs to be a certain level in his job or finance first
3) the influence of his friends
4) he isn’t interested in settling down yet
5) he hasn’t met the right woman.
Whilst it’s hard not to take it personally the best thing to do is not put all your emotions and eggs into one basket. Learn to take the dating game slowly so you don’t run the risk of getting hurt and remember the right man will be dying to commit to you, from the start.
2: He takes forever to text back, why?
There are pretty much just two reasons a) he’s just genuinely busy b) he’s not that keen and starting to pull back and perhaps even giving you the silent treatment .
Sometimes it’s not as complicated as we think, men are pretty direct and simple ( in a nice way ) . If he says he’ll call or text you back in 5 mins don’t freak out if he hasn’t done so within 20 mins, their perception our time can sometimes be our perception of distance!
He’s probably just busy doing something which took him longer than he thought and he’ll call you when he gets the chance because that’s what’s practical. Or if you are getting ambiguous text messages and no calls then chances are he isn’t the guy for you and you aren’t the girl for him.
3: Why is sport so damn important to him?
Men are competitive, adventurous and physically orientated creatures by nature, they have a lot of energy to burn, but they also like a challenge.
Watching and playing sport gives them an outlet for all that extra testosterone as well as gives them a chance to revel in something manly and enjoyable to them! Their sport is our shopping and girlie catch ups to them. It makes them feel good and in a way more like a guy.
4: Why does he think that sex will solve the problem?
Men are physical; their bodies naturally produce more testosterone than we do oestrogen so therefore are more inclined to want to get physical a lot more than we do.
They think that creating the intimate bond will solve the emotional side of the problem, where as for us ladies we need to be emotionally for filled and talk about the problem before we can be physically intimate.
Men need their space, they need time alone to just think and process things without having to talk about it with you first. They aren’t the type to sit and talk about feelings and emotions for hours like us women but rather need to gather their thoughts alone. Don’t stress when he retreats into his man cave, leave him be and he’ll come out sooner ( searching for you!)
6: Why is his work so important to him, it’s just a job right?!
For a lot of men they see their career as part of their identity and need to feel that they are progressing and being successful as well as a good provider. It’s a competitive world on planet Mars , and men want to be able to thrive and be the best and prove to themselves and their woman that they are an achiever .
7: Why does every guy I date chase me like crazy and then drop me like a hot potato as soon as I start to like him?
Easy, you are either dating commitment -phobes, or making it too easy for them. I don’t endorse game playing at all but keep in mind that men like a challenge as well as a woman who holds her own and doesn’t place her life on hold for a man. Be a little mysterious and don’t give away all your best first up, guard your heart and just give him enough till you know his character more.
8: Why doesn’t he just ask for directions?
Ah yes we all know the frustration of this! It’s called letting their ego get in the way of making something easier. Men like to feel manly, they want to be the hero, the provider and the navigator. He won’t ask for directions because to him that represents some sort of failure of not been able to work out such a “manly task” or “his job”. Asking for help for a man can sometimes represent being weak and that’s something that no one likes to be reminded of.
9: Why won’t he listen to me and talk about his feelings?
Men literally don’t talk as much as we do even daily let alone when it comes to the bigger stuff, so don’t start freaking out because it’s normal. What’s important is what he is saying not how much he is talking, although silence does speak volumes, especially in a man’s world so sometimes this alone is all the indication you need (or answer!)