It’s a minefield out there and sometimes not even all the self help books, glossy magazines, Facebook polls or even Google can answer our questions! So here’s 9 common questions answered :
1: Do I call or do I wait for him to call? There is nothing wrong with initiating contact first either before or after a date, it shows that you are secure and comfortable in your own skin and the situation. Calling your date the day after to say thanks is also good manners and shows that you aren’t scared to make the next move. But don’t forget to give him some space to initiate contact with you, as it will reveal his true intentions and character.
2: When should I start paying for the dates ? I’m old fashioned and think that the man should pay for at least the first date, it’s not about trying to suck him dry but rather letting him woo you. By the third date at least you should be contributing financially in some way and definitely offering to, as it show good manners and your integrity.
3: How do I know if he is into me? It should become clear as time goes on, but the give-away signs will be that he makes you feel like a priority, makes eye contact and leaves room in his schedule to spend time with you. If you want to know more read my latest blog: 6 Signs That He’s Into You .
4: When do I say ” I love you” There is no right or wrong time, it’s whenever you feel that the moment calls for it. However be sure of his integrity and character first before you open your heart, nothing hurts more than unrequited love.
5: Is it bad luck to get intimate on the first date? My room of thumb was never kiss on the first date, not because I am trying to play hard to get , but rather I prefer not to rush such important things. Getting to know each other before being physical allows for a build up of excitement, romance and suspense, it also makes things a lot less complicated and shows his true intentions.
6: How soon should he meet my parents? It depends how serious you are both getting and how fast things are moving, if you are on the same page then there isn’t a specific time and it usually happens sooner than later. My advice is if the guy is still a bit hesitant to meet your folks after several months of dating then perhaps you should be re assessing
! 7: What do I do if my friends don’t like him? This is tricky, but it’s wise to remember that your friends were there first and probably have your best interests at heart, so if both your friends and family say something , then perhaps warning bells should go off and you need to have a good look at the character of your new beau. However do give your friends a chance to get to know him properly first .
8: How do I let him down gently? Rejection is always a little awkward or painful for someone , so the best way is to be honest, kind but firm. Don’t feel like you have to justify every reason or give him a 10 page letter explaining why, keep it simple and sincere. Depending how much time you have been dating , if it’s only a few dates then a nice email or phone call is good ( don’t text we aren’t 14!) Meeting up for coffee just so you can reject them will always make things a little weird…unless of course you have been seeing them for a long time then of course face to face is more respectful.
9:Is it bad if I make the first move? Not at all, men like a confident and secure woman, just be sure that he feels the same way! Whilst being open about how you feel gives you way to progress things with quicker, it can always hinder you as well if he feels like you are being too “aggressive”. Men like to chase , give him room as well to move and pursue you.