Are you dating Mr Unavailable ? Here’s the checklist!

It’s easy to get swept up in the game of love, to live behind those rose coloured glasses and dismiss certain signs because we “love them soooooo much just as they are”!

Well that’s all very poetic and noble however when we start to some crashing down from fairy land after he has once again cancelled a plan, forgotten a date or chosen something else over your time together, it’s usually a good time to stop and reassess.

So let’s take a look at 4 signs that indicate that you are quite possibly dating a man that is not ready to commit to you:

1 :Communication sucks.

Whether it is a text message response that arrives hours later, a phone call that never comes or just general chit chat seems to be lacking, it seems like an uphill battle just to talk!

Let’s face it communication is pretty essential to a relationship and needs to be a priority right from the start. The first few weeks of dating should be fun and easy, there should be somewhat of a desire or urgency for the man to chat to you and chase you a little.

A gentleman will call, will answer you and will communicate effectively not just because he likes you, but because it’s good manners.  There is a difference between initiating contact and nagging for a response.

A man that is emotionally available will not only want to speak to you but will also communicate effectively in such a way that you aren’t left guessing or dissecting everything he says!

2: You’re not a priority.

If you’re struggling to try and find time to spend with him, constantly rearranging your schedule to fit in with him and his life and feeling like everything else comes before you, then chances are you aren’t a big concern in his life.

A real man will make time for the woman he is pursuing; he will make her a priority in his life, not an option or an afterthought.

Yes everyone gets busy with work, and friends and life in general, but if you are constantly being shoved back in place for other insignificant things then it’s time to get out of there and go where you are not only appreciated but also celebrated!

3: He can’t commit.

Meet Mr Commitmentphobe! This goes way beyond just emotional commitment, I mean this man can’t commit to social events, plans you want to make (oh that’s right this type of man never plans anything with you anyway), his words and promises and anything else!

Basically you’re living from day to day rather than in a secure relationship that has a foreseeable stable future.  Asking for basic commitment from a man you have been dating for while is not asking for too much, in fact it’s perfectly normal.

It’s not fun feeling like you have to do all this hard work to try and get him to stick around; anxiety, fear and chasing after someone is not ideal for anyone. The right man will not only do anything to be with you, but he’ll do everything to keep you as well.

4: Not moving forward.

A good sign of a healthy happy relationship is progress. If you find that you are still in the same position, still battling for his time and attention, making excuses for his behaviours and justifying the same negative patterns, then it’s time to dump his butt!

Being in a for filling relationship means you are BOTH continually moving forward not only as individuals but also as a couple in unity.

Constant frustration, unhappiness and dissatisfaction are pretty good indications that your relationship isn’t going anywhere too fast and that perhaps it’s time to reassess who you are dating.

It’s one thing to get stuck in a routine and become complacent, but it’s altogether another thing to be with someone who has no desire to move forward and is indifferent to the development of your relationship.

So….. whilst this may be a hard thing to admit and a little heartbreaking because you really do want him to be in your life that way, you need to see the bigger picture and realise your self worth. If there is no peace and you are constantly chasing after a man that can’t be bothered to talk to you or spend time with you, let alone commit then it’s time to let go. The right man will prioritise you in his life; will be available in every way over the progression of a relationship and will leave you with a sense of belonging.

1 Comment

  • Jamie says:

    This post is spot on, after dating a guy 4 years and no future, this describes him perfectly!! Thank you for this.

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