It’s an exciting time meeting someone new and getting swept up in the romance and all those cheesy couplely things that we scoff at when single but secretly love when we have a man to do them with!
However there are times when we can become so infatuated with someone that we start to lose our own identity as an individual. This doesn’t mean that you have to go to the extreme of staking your independence as a woman and start causing division in your relationship just to prove a point, but rather it’s about understanding why it’s important to still be your own person and how to find that balance.
Here’s a few tell tale signs that you might start to be melding into your man :
Your career and dreams go out the window and all you care about is making him happy.
This is not a good thing because someone else’s happiness and dreams are not going to be able to for fill your own. A woman who has her own goals and purpose has a better chance of being happy and keeping her man because her focus is not entirely on him, men like to hunt remember!
Everything is about “we” or “he” you’ve totally forgotten the “I”!
Have you ever had one of those friends that every conversation or question starts with “we think this “ or “he thinks we should”..etc you get the point , it seems like they no longer can answer with an individual opinion because they have gone into automatic couple mode usually because their focus and energy and emotions are entirely invested into their man instead of being balanced between them self and their partner. Don’t forget about what you want because it’s just as equally important.
You only see your girlfriends when he is busy or if you are going through a rough patch with him.
A big tell tale sign is when you start to isolate yourself from your family and friends because you plan your entire life and daily plans around him.
It’s important to still invest in other relationships in your life, especially your friends as they will help give you some perspective. Having time apart from your man is just as important as spending time with him, don’t wait for a spare moment “because he is busy” to go see your friends, make that a priority instead and learn how to manage other people and relationships in your life.
You have compromised on your values , choices and standards just to keep him happy.
The thing is when you change yourself so much to suit one person you are leaving yourself open for disappointment and perhaps even heartache.
There is a difference between learning how to compromise in a healthy way and totally giving up everything you are just to suit him.
Relationships take two whole individuals to be happy and each partner should be supporting and encouraging each other’s dreams, goals, decisions and individuality.
Yes compatibility is incredibly important but don’t change who you are to suit someone at the cost of your own happiness.
Your answer to his questions are usually “whatever you want …”
Whilst it’s important to be generous and selfless in a relationship it’s not healthy to be so submissive that you end up never being able to do what you really want to do.
Relationships are a two way street and require equal give and take, so try and set a new habit of discerning when you should stand firm for what you want and be confident in telling him.
Remember that some conflict is actually healthy and necessary, it grows you and your relationship, plus it keeps things interesting! If it doesn’t make you happy then don’t do it just to keep him happy.
You’ve started to dress like him!
This isn’t a bad thing and I’m talking about extremes here, but what I am essentially getting at is keep your own individual style if it makes you happy. If you enjoy a more relaxed fit whilst he is always dressed to the nines, don’t feel like you have to keep up with him.
Perhaps choose the times when you want to dress more to his liking eg: going to a nice dinner etc, but don’t feel like you have to go out and buy an entire new wardrobe just to next to him , he is dating you for who you are so keep celebrating that by indulging in your individuality.