Love will have its casualties along the way. There will be people who hurt you and let you down. Unfortunately finding your soul mate isn’t always a smooth process and it can leave us damaged and guarded.
Once trust has been broken we find it hard to trust again, even if it is with someone new. We can put up walls and create self-protection mechanisms without even being aware of it.
It’s natural to want to try and keep yourself from being hurt again, but if we live in fear of what negative things could happen, we limit ourselves from the good that is out there.
Here are a few pointers to getting you to learn to open your heart and let someone in again:
Trust is something that takes time
Trust isn’t something that happens in an instant, it’s something that is earnt over time. We think that if we don’t feel it in the beginning than we never will.
Sure, you need to feel some level of security with the person you are starting to date, but deep trust happens gradually.
We live in an instant society that influences our thinking into believing that everything must be attainted straight away or not at all. Healthy and strong relationship are made over time.
Trust is a choice
People can do whatever it is you need them to do to initiate trust, but at the end of the day you need to choose to trust them. This means stepping out of your safety net.
It means allowing a part of you to be vulnerable. There will be times when you will struggle with your thoughts and feelings and can even conjure up a million reasons not to trust someone.
But if you do not trust your partner they will start to feel undervalued and resentful.
Learn to talk about things and feelings
Trust is integral to every relationship; without trust a relationship cannot function. Therefore, you need to learn to be transparent with one another and talk openly about what you are feeling and thinking.
Clear communication will always help to build the foundation of trust between people. If there is something that is on your heart or mind or anything you are struggling with, then communicate it to your partner.
Stop letting your past control your present
The trick is to learn from the past, but to not let it control your present and future. Just because someone has betrayed or broken your trust in the past, does not mean they will do it again or someone new will do it.
We need to love people with boundaries but also with freedom so we don’t put up walls. Take the lessons you have learnt from past relationships, but don’t let the pain control your ability to love and trust again.
Original post for My Single Connections .