Can you really find love online? #askRenee



When the world of love combined with technology, it started this love-hate affair in our hearts and minds.

On one hand, it’s brilliant to be able to just swipe through all your possible dates at your own leisure and convenience.

On the other, it has meant we have come up against new challenges when it comes to finding love.

I will admit, I am one of those traditional sort of girls who thinks finding love IRL is a little more romantic. However, dating apps and online dating really do have their perks. Let’s face it, whether we like it or not, they are now a major part of society and conversations. And if you haven’t heard of Tinder, then you are either happily married or living under a rock.

This little dating app, which started as a small spark, is now a roaring flame and one of the most talked about dating apps worldwide. Unfortunately, it’s not for all the right reasons. Tinder is notoriously known to be the app which is perfect for hook ups, one night stands and the ultimate place to “swipe left”.

So, we must stop and ask ourselves, is this simple little piece of science our ultimate modern Fairy Godmother or not?

Love still looks the same, but the way we find it is changing.

For a while we bucked against new ways of finding a soul mate. We scoffed at blind dating events, laughed at online daters and scowled at anyone using an app. Society deemed it desperate and taboo to search for true love in anything other than the ‘normal’ way.

However, with the rise of divorce, reality dating TV shows and a demand for more online dating, we realised that maybe these computer Cupids were onto something smart.

It is now socially acceptable to publicly declare you are single and looking for love. Which is a small victory for the singletons, but it is also no longer frowned upon to say you are wanting a hook up, which gives the players a hand up.

And this, my fellow people, is where the problems start. Put two people in the same room with different intentions and there is bound to be some heartache.

We think love is sex and sex is love and dating apps give us both.

In the beginning, online dating and dating apps were used mainly to find a long-term relationship. This was probably why they were a little embarrassing to talk openly about. The old “let’s say we met at a bar” joke was featured in almost every person’s profile (ironically, since everyone was sick of meeting someone at a bar).

However, with the revolution of Tinder, we now talk freely about who we have dated, slept with and swiped over merely because they were not pleasing to the eye.

In short, we have turned finding love into a hobby to either pass the time or fulfill a hole or primal need of some sort. Dating apps have given us instant access and connection to people without the depth and cost of online dating sites. And while they offer us possible dates, they don’t promise us love.

Ultimately people are searching for some sort of connection with someone else — the problem is that some people are expecting love while others just want a fling. And when the two meet, there is bound to be a bit of a road bump, because both have sought out the same portal for two totally different reasons.

You must remember the golden rule

The golden rule is this: online dating sites and dating apps are a way to create opportunities to meet people. They don’t guarantee love. Heck, meeting a stranger in the grocery store doesn’t guarantee you a happily ever after.

While we may have the tools to access someone instantly, it doesn’t mean you will have an instant relationship. That is something that is built over time. Love can be found on Tinder and dating apps alike, but it doesn’t mean the right person for you is on there.

Ultimately, you are in control of who you choose to date, fall in love with and start a life with, and dating apps are just another way to create a chance to meet that special someone.

So, should you risk your heart on Tinder?

Nothing ventured nothing gained, just be aware of the reasons why there are stigmas attached. In saying that, I have also heard of many success stories and believe that a simple swipe right could lead to a great connection. Like any online site or dating app, there are certain ways to guarantee better matches, so get savvy, guard your heart and don’t forget to have some fun along the way.

As seen originally on The Huff Post Australia 

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