Dating in your 40’s : How the rules have changed. #CariaCares

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If you’ve ever been on a blind date, you know it can be awkward. The nerves rise. You’re about to meet someone you don’t know. So it’s completely natural to second guess how the date will go. Especially since you’ve had no interaction with each other. At least with dating apps you have the opportunity to see if you have similar interests. If you stay open and live in the moment, blind dates can be a lot of fun.

Last time I began telling my story; Survival of the Fittest: Blind Date I wrote about being set up in my 20’s and 30’s. Now in my 40’s, I’m being set up again. This time with someone younger. Being somewhat of a workaholic, I know I’ll never meet anyone if I don’t socialise. At the very least I can make a new friend.

I’m to meet up with Mandy and the director at the Darlo Bar for a casual introduction. Walking in I didn’t see her red locks anywhere. The director recognises me. His eyes are a gorgeous green. I realise our zany makeup artist is nowhere to be seen. With a beer in his hand, I excuse myself to get a drink. Interestingly this annoys me. Then I remember the rules have changed. I’m expected to look after myself.

We make small talk. To my surprise he’s engaging. He asks questions. This is new territory. Being a communications specialist I’ve always instigated questions with men my own age. Then he says; “I really love your t-shirt” and starts talking about the brand. He knows fashion, arts and obviously the film industry. We laugh about the whole set up and both agree Mandy is clever.

The date was fantastic. Great conversation, lively place and he ended up paying for drinks and burgers. And I let go of the past to be an empowered woman, I made sure he got home safe. The next day he called to ask me out on an official date.

Do you have a date coming up? Don’t worry. Here are a few tips to help:

  1. Dating rules have changed

Men and women’s expectations have evolved with the times. With a change in the gender pay gap, women earn approximately 80-100% of the same wage that men do. Therefore both have similar emotional equilibriums. This new rule has men expecting to split a bill in half.

On one hand, this can empower you. If the date is terrible, you can leave without feeling obligated to hang around. On the other, it shows you want to be on equal terms and it will be appreciated.

  1. Make your own way

Growing up in Europe, its customary for men to want to look after their date. This means paying the bill and making sure you get home safe. In Australia, it’s more common to make your own way home. Take into account that it’s probably safer, until you get to know each other better.

  1. Read between the lines

Communication signals are different. Learn to read between the lines. Here are a few examples:

  • You’re stunning/handsome– he/she is attracted and is hoping to get a kiss and/or see you again.
  • You look hot – and you’re wearing jeans and a baggy t-shirt – he/she is hoping to get to third base.
  • Let’s go back and watch Netflix – everyone knows his leads to the bedroom.
  • What about a coffee (or nite cap) at mine? – he/she wants to go chase you around the coffee table, until you give in.

If your date genuinely wants to keep the conversation going, make sure you’re crystal clear about expectations. This way you can both save embarrassment and have respect for each other. If not – know this may only lead to a night of fun.

My advice is be prepared and take enough cash to split the bill. Live in the moment. You never know where this will lead to.

Tune in next month to find out how the official date went.

 

caria watt

 

Caria Watt is an established TVSN Co-Presenter, model and communications specialist who writes positive mindful expressions. Her passion for words has become a life long career as a professional copywriter, writer and editor. People seek her for advice on how to communicate better to be empowered. She’s on the pursuit of healthy relationships and has kindly offered to write about her experiences.

Follow her today or stay tuned each month for her #CariaCares campaign

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Photo courtesy of nenetus @FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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