The Difference Between Privacy and Secrecy in a Relationship



The difference is bigger than you think…

Two of the most important foundations in a relationship are Trust and Communication and without these two functioning effectively and daily you will find it very hard to build a healthy , happy and progressive relationship.

Most of the time we walk into a new love with the intention of having both these values at the centre of it , however as time goes one and we start to navigate our way through the battlefields , it can become quite clear that they can lose their place or become replaceable with the exact opposite!

We seem to think that even the best relationships that we look up to , must just be “so easy for them” …WRONG!

Even the great relationships take hard work , after all that is what makes them great .

Nurturing a wonderfully fulfilling relationship takes a lot of effort from both people who must both be conscious of their actions and words every day , it isn’t just something that happens but rather something that is built over time .

If you look at most of the successful relationships out there whether it be Hollywood or real life you will realize they have something in common:

Privacy . What I mean by this is that they choose to protect their relationship and keep it sacred by not inviting the unwanted opinions of others into it, or displaying all their issues publicly .

It’s not a news flash that we live in a world whereby nowadays  people are encouraged to showcase their life to entire strangers; but just because something is more frequent and acceptable it does not make it sensible, productive or right .

Having privacy in your relationship is one thing, but being secretive is altogether another thing!

Don’t be fooled, if your partner refuses to give you access to his accounts or makes a note not to go “public” with your relationship, it’s not because he is trying to protect your relationship, but rather he is trying to protect himself from you finding out something.

So let’s look at the importance and difference between the both:

1: Privacy is about the two of you , Secrecy is only about self

When you choose to keep certain aspects of your relationship private from the public , you are effectively doing something that is for the good of you both.

It is unifying and helps to create and build trust, on the other hand is either of you are choosing to keep secrets from one another then there is instantly a form of division whereby you allow the fear of insecurity, mistrust and paranoia to grow.

It’s one thing for your partner to not tell you everything about their past , but it is usually entirely different when it comes to them not being transparent about their present and future.

2: Keeping your relationship private means less drama and unwanted opinions

By choosing to not tell people ( even family members and friends) certain things it doesn’t mean that you are keeping secrets from them, but rather unwanted opinions which might cloud your judgement.

Your relationship is not everyone else’s business, and the less people know in detail the less you have to explain and the less drama you will have in your life.

This isn’t about trying to live like the FBI and isolating yourself from social situations or putting on a facade , but rather  just agreeing together what you want people to know and not know about in your relationship.

3: Privacy means your can protect , Secrecy invites invaders!

So it might sound dramatic , but when you keep your relationship and all it’s problems private you are effectively building a wall around the BOTH of you , whereby you can stay protected from more confusion, temptation and other nasties until you have both had time to heal and work things out together as a couple .

In short it means you are creating boundaries that keep your relationships or marriage safe ! Secrecy on the other hand is about building walls between you , which of course means you are exposed to other options , opinions an perhaps even short term hole fillers.

4: Privacy is uplifting and positive , Secrecy is negative and destroying

At the end of the day you both have the choice to take steps to build a secure and happy relationship or to let things just take their toll.  Privacy is actually imperative to a healthy relationship and the only secrecy a couple should ever have between each other is what they are buying as a surprise present for their birthdays’ !


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