How To Set Realistic Love Expectations

love blog bella and darcy

 

Ah love is a funny game and females have such a spirited creative mind that sometimes embellishes things to what they want it to be rather than what it is in reality!

I will be the first to confess that I am a hopeless romantic, I know what I want and I’m not afraid to declare it and well I guess expect nothing less.

Our personal expectations are usually based off our experiences and therefore for each person it will be different, so when what we want doesn’t align with someone else’s expectations we often are left disappointed.

In the world of dating and trying to find unity in a relationship, it can become the centre of the conflict especially if either party doesn’t communicate what they want effectively.

So how to do we stop ourselves from being constantly disappointed?

Do we have to lower our standards or settle just so we don’t end up alone with 72 cats and knitting magazines?! Absolutely not!

What about when something seems to be coasting along perfectly then all of a sudden it stops and you’re thrown back onto the single train? Or what happens when life just doesn’t go to plan the way you had…well expected it to?

Well ladies here’s a few tips to navigate you through:

Dating: have fun!

Dating can be both exciting and daunting at the same time, and the older we get the higher expectation we seem to place on our new found crushes as a way to guarantee that this one will start and end successfully!

Half the time the poor bugger who sits tentatively from across the table from you doesn’t even realise that you have made a mental 3 page list that all applicants must fill out and submit before being allowed to justify their presence in your life !?!

Hmm call me crazy but sometimes we just have to give people a chance, and sometimes we need to relax, have fun and think less. Don’t immediately label or categorize someone, or worse start planning your future with them after one date!

Go with the flow, get to know them and keep your heart guarded and have an attitude of “we’ll see”, in short don’t put all your eggs in one basket too soon.( or you’ll become a basket case yourself !)

Choose wisely

The ideal situation is to consciously try and choose to date a guy that you know meets the majority of your expectations …as in you are compatible, have mutual interests ,are attracted to one another and generally want the same sort of things .

Why complicate things or invite drama into your life by dating someone who you know isn’t what you ideally want?! If you find that date after relationship, after date never works out, then chances are you are dating the wrong type of man over and over again ( no wonder why your expectations aren’t being met )!!

Stop, check yourself, think logically about the pattern you have created and make the conscious decision to change it and start dating the RIGHT type of guys for YOU. Learn to love what’s good for you.

Take a Reality Check

Love doesn’t always go to plan and yes sometimes even the best of men can disappoint us, they are human after all. Life takes us through different seasons, but sometimes it’s really only as complicated as your reaction to it.

Happiness is a choice and when you are disappointed about something or someone, sometimes we just have to take things in our stride, acknowledge it and then move on.

There is purpose to everything and what you want isn’t always what you need. Perhaps some of your expectations are too high (not every man can own a castle!) and you need to reassess what’s really important and what’s also realistic. This doesn’t mean you have to settle, but rather learn to compromise on certain things.

We mustn’t forget that men work quite differently to women so there will always be mixed signals, conflict and confusion, so make it a goal to always be honest and communicate properly what you want.

A relationship isn’t just about what we want, it requires equal give and take and compromise (there’s that word again!) so start setting yourself up to handle life’s curve balls by having the right perspective, attitude and mindset.

SaveSave

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *