Help me! I see my ex everywhere and in everything I do!

Image courtesy of atnum_skyman at

Image courtesy of atnum_skyman at

The only day worse than the break up…is all the days afterwards ( hear me out)… until you finally heal and move on . It’s a horrible journey and quite normal that our pain and the past relationship/person becomes our every thought and feeling. We all wish there was some magical pill we could swallow or perhaps a switch that we could turn off to make us forget about the man and all the memories that went with him , but unfortunately we have to rely on time to get us there. It’s bad enough having to constantly re-tell people why you aren’t together any more and bare their looks of sympathy and condolences  of  ” you will find another one” whilst plastering a fake smile and trying not to burst in tears, let alone having to be reminded of the man in everything you do! Whether it’s a song that comes on that you both use to sing to, or you overhear a joke you use to laugh at together, heck even seeing a can of baked beans at the supermarket can have you in a blubbering mess. My point is there never seems to be an easy way out of a break up and sometimes we can lose perspective and start wondering if all the things we are seeing that remind us of him is a sign of things to come ( let’s face it , we are hoping they are a sign of a miracle reunion where everything is perfect!) However whilst time usually gives us the real answer , her are a few tips to getting through this hard period :

You see what your heart and mind is focusing on.

The real reason why you are probably seeing him everywhere is because you are constantly thinking about him in everything you do. To be honest if you have been with someone long enough and continue you’re daily routine without them , it will be hard not to notice their absence even more so. Have you ever been thinking about a person or a song and then all of a sudden you see them or hear the tune on the radio? Coincidence? Maybe …or rather we manifest what we mediate on into our lives. The difference though about continuously thinking about your ex is that you only manifest memory triggers which in turn make the pain worse and the healing slower.

Change your thinking, heal your heart.

It’s time to turn a new leaf in your mind and start a new train of thought! This is easier said then done and takes a lot of discipline especially when your heart will be pulling you the opposite way . The trick is to be conscious of what you think about, try and catch yourself out when you think about the past and instead of indulging it, choose to block the thoughts and focus on something new.  In other words you need to distract yourself from thinking about him till you cultivate the new habits and mindset which don’t include him at all. Eventually your heart will follow and before you know it he’ll just be “someone that you used to know” !

Clean out the past from your present

It’s time to do some spring cleaning , not only of the mind but also your actual house and living space! The less physical reminders there are of your past the easier it will be not to focus on him . This means getting rid of old photos, or anything that brings an overwhelming emotional attachment, perhaps even giving a special ring back or piece of jewellery. This won’t be easy because it literally means you are cutting more ties with him and physically giving back something/ throwing it out really brings about all sorts of emotional turmoil. BUT…the feeling that you get once you have “let go” of those things ; i.e.: the relief and sense of closure and freedom that comes with it is worth the battle.

Get around new territory and create new memories

Of course the best way to helping you get out of the rut is to welcome new adventure and experiences into your life. Whether it’s mixing up or building a new routine, going on a holiday ( to a different country where he hasn’t been!) or even trying out something new , it will all serve to create fresh and positive memories without the pain of the past. Finding neutral territory means you have the power to build exactly what you want , plus it helps clear your mind and inspires you into a new season.

And remember healing is a process but you have the power to either prolong  or accelerate it, so star making the better choice today so you can have a happier tomorrow.


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