Marriage can be tough …especially when we add children into the mix.
Whilst there is great unity and fulfilment in having kids together , those lovely bundles of joy can take priority over each other .
It’s not that we mean to put our relationship on the back burner , but it is something that often happens.
Between work , friends and family life can get busy . So busy , that we forget to invest in what keeps our marriage thriving and healthy .
We forget that the relationship we have with our spouse ultimately affects our children and their own perception of love . That out happiness affects their happiness . So why then do we neglect it?
Well thankfully couples are now cottoning on to the fact that there should be no guilt attached to wanting to bring romance back into their marriage . Meet Rob and Sarah.
R and S are your typical type of “Honeyboomer” couple . In short they are married with kids and wanted to have a second honeymoon . So they choose to go away on holidays to reconnect …sans children!
We sat down to chat frankly with them about all those mixed emotions that come with wanting to out a marriage first before kids… and here’s what they had to say :
Q: What were some of the pressures your marriage experienced after time and children?
It’s so easy for couples to get caught up in parenthood and forget about making time for each other. We had stopped spending alone time with each other and found that we were only talking about the kids – what they were doing at school, who had parties at the weekend, who needed to go to soccer on Saturday.
It got to a point where we realised we hadn’t had a proper chat in weeks and that’s when we decided to take a break, just the two of us.
Q: Do you ever feel guilty for having holidays without your children?
Our first priority is to make sure the kids are settled and taken care of at home. They probably love it when we’re away, it’s a break for them as well. Admittedly we do sigh with relief to find the house in one piece when we return home.
Q: How often do you prioritise a holiday or time away together?
We try to take some time out a couple times a year. We’re huge fans of cruising, so try to book onto a Carnival Cruise Line ship as often as possible – sometimes we have 2 or 3 future cruises booked!
Q: What has seeing new countries and learning new experiences brought you as a couple and individually?
Every destination has offered us unique and memorable experiences, we feel free to relax, enjoy each other’s company and have those big proper belly laughs. Remembering how to feel free and properly laugh helps us relax and appreciate each other’s company.
Q: How do you fight off the holiday blues after you come back? And how do you maintain that intimacy and loving feeling after?
Holiday blues are hard – you have the best time away and then reality comes back! We normally look to start planning our next trip when we get back. Having something to look forward to keeps us motivated.
If the holiday feels too far away, we’ll make sure to head out for a date night with just the two of us. Dinner, movie or a comedy show and meet up with cruising friends.
Q: Why do you think parents should embrace the Honeyboomer experience / season?
It’s so easy for couples to get caught up in parenthood and forget about making time for each other. We get stressed balancing work life, responsibilities, and the kids.
So, with the Honeyboomer experience, we get a well-deserved holiday away from the bustle.
The time together reminds us why we fell in love and how much fun we have together!
It’s also the perfect opportunity to meet other couples in similar situations and you’ll definitely have new friends coming back.
Q: What are your tips for when you travel together so you don’t stress about your children?
Set the kids up at home so that you don’t need to worry. We always make sure to tell them details of upcoming trips and take them out for a nice dinner to spend some quality family time.
On holiday, we try to check in as much as we can to make sure they are safe and sound. And remind each other that it’s good for us to have time apart. We return home relaxed and more fun.
Q: Do you think parents should put their children first before their marriage?
Neither is more important than the other, it’s more important to have a healthy balance.
Obviously, your kids are a massive priority in your life but that doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice your personal needs or neglect making time for your partner.
Q: What is your advice to other couples who are experiencing difficulty in their marriage?
Make sure you’re making time for each other and talking. Try to take some time out together and remember what you love about your significant other, whether it be their sense of humour or zest for life.
Most importantly try to keep it fun – sharing new experiences, hobbies and generally laughing together.
Q: Do you think that you are setting a good example for your children by becoming Honeyboomers?
Yes, definitely. A strong marriage is the healthiest thing you can give your kids. It sets an example and makes the kids feel safe and loved when they see their parents working as a team, taking interest in each other and making an effort.
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