It’s amazing how one single person or moment can turn your whole word upside down and leave you feeling like nothing will ever be the same. Whether you dated them for only 1 month or 20 years, it really doesn’t matter if they have affected your heart in such a deep and moving way. Sure everyone will tell you “you’ll get over him” or “ he’s not worth it, just move on” and it’s not that you don’t want to move on, it’s just you don’t know how to or even if you ever will be able to . It’s like this unseen force that takes hold over your mind, heart and emotions that you just can’t seem to shake. Perhaps the crying has stopped but the longing hasn’t and so you are stuck in a limbo of not knowing when you will be able to finally heal and progress forward. The good news is that there are practical ways and certain steps you can take to help the process along, so let’s look at 5 of them:
1: Get help and a new perspective
The problem is we feel like we have done everything we can to try and get over them, but still can’t seem to shake the feelings , so now it’s time to get help from another source. There are some battles we can’t fight alone, and seeking help is not being weak but rather being sensible and taking control of your situation. Professional counsellors are a wonderful way to get a new perspective on the situation as well as supportive and practical advice. A good counsellor won’t make you feel condemned or useless but will be empathetic and understanding.
2: Get busy
This means it’s time to occupy your mind as well as your hands! If you stay in your daily routine or give up your social life you are going to feel like nothing is going to change, so shake it up a little and get out and about. Take up a new hobby, learn a new skill, hit the gym and start hosting dinner parties! Invite new opportunities of joy into your life by creating an environment which is creative and social.
3: Get in control
To really move on from someone we have to start retraining our mind, heart and words. This means being consciously aware of what you are dwelling on and what you say. Speaking positive affirmations and CHOOSING to not think about the past or your pain means you are setting yourself up for a new and happier emotional platform. It will take discipline and a conscious effort before it becomes a habit, but it’s an important and vital step to you being free to move on.
4: Get Dating
OK so you may not really be thinking about other guys right now, but going on a date doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with him, but rather it’s about being social, starting new conversations and broadening your perspective. Dating should be fun and light hearted , so rather than put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way, just go in there with no expectations and enjoy yourself. You can’t move on if you continue to stay in the same routine.
5: Get closure
Closure is inevitable (even if you think it will never come!) Your daily choices and actions will start a process that can either hinder or accelerate you into healing your heart, but it is up to you to choose which way you want to go. It’s not an easy process but staying in a constant state of yearning and heartache isn’t exactly living a life of quality either, so make a decision today to build a better tomorrow.
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