It’s totally normal for someone to need a little space in a relationship.
Maybe things are getting serious a little soon, they have a busy life at the time, or maybe they just aren’t good with emotions. What should you do when a guy needs space?
Whatever the reason it’s understandable that someone might need a little distance from their partner every now and then. When this happens though, girls tend to “freak out” a little and think that this space means they are going to lose their man for good.
This usually causes us ladies to hold on tight and try and get rid of the space they are trying to get. This usually makes guys feel smothered and then just make the problem worse.
It can feel like the solution to “fix” it but when you smother a guy, you do the opposite of what to do when a guy needs space.
Because it can be frustrating and even a little scary when a guy needs space, we have just the thing to help you out.
Here we put together a list of the top 10 Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to giving your man a little space.
This way you know how to give him what he needs without driving him away for good!
Don’t Text Him and Call Him Constantly
When someone needs space, they want time away from you. And just because you two aren’t physically together doesn’t mean that constant texting and calling is giving him space. If you blow up his phone whenever you two are apart it’s basically like you are just together all the time. This in itself could be the cause of your man needing space in the first place!
It’s ok to want to talk to your partner. It helps you feel closer to them, especially when you feel a little extra distant from him. Do your best, however, to refrain from excess contact. It’s ok to not constantly communicate with him. It gives him time to miss you!
Don’t Make Assumptions
It’s hard to not think of the worst case scenario when he tells you he needs a little space. Assuming the worst is so easy to do, but so bad for your relationship. It can cause you to act strangely and put unnecessary negativity in the mix.
You never really know why he is needing space and what is going on in his head. If he needs space, don’t assume that it is for any particular reason.
If you really can’t be calm in this kind of situation, then talk to him. Ask him why he needs space. This could help by getting you answers, but make sure you really want them. If he is honest with you his answer might not be what you want to hear.
Don’t Stalk Social Media
I know… it’s tempting. You haven’t heard from him in two days and if you don’t get a text soon you’re going to lose your mind. No matter how tempting it seems, don’t go stalking him, his friends, and his crazy next door neighbor on social media. This will only cause you to obsess over him, when really you should be focusing on yourself.
Block him or delete the apps if you must, but don’t go snooping on snapchat! The odds of you finding something and overthinking it or blowing it out of proportion is just too high. Sitting around stalking and obsessing just isn’t healthy either. Remember, out of sight out of mind.
This one is hard, but do your best to not completely freak out when your partner asks you for a little space. When we let our minds run wild they can come up with scenarios that don’t even make sense. Even worse, we convince ourselves that these crazy scenarios are true! Save yourself the time and energy and REMAIN CALM!
If you don’t know how to stay calm then fill your day with activities that not only relax you, but also keep your mind occupied and off your man! To relax try activities like yoga, meditation, or simply stop and take a few deep breaths. This will help you reduce stress and feel less panicked.
As far as keeping it off your mind, you just need to keep your mind focused on anything else. Read a good book, or listen to your favorite music at work. Whatever occupies your mind will help keep it off him, and keep you less stressed.
Don’t Blame Yourself
You never know what another person in thinking, feeling, or experiencing in life. And even if you think you do, it doesn’t mean that they process things the same way that you do. This is why you shouldn’t be hard on yourself and think that you are to blame if this guy is needing a little alone time.
There are so many reasons people need space in life that you really can’t blame yourself! Doing this will only lower your self esteem and potentially make matters even worse.
You can’t control whether or not he needs space from you for a little. All you have control over is how you react and behave moving forward. Don’t sit around thinking that there is something wrong with you, because usually it’s something that is wrong with them and they just need time to sort it out.
Be gentle with yourself, and love who you are just the way you are!
Do Get a Little “You Time”
Taking care of yourself is one of the most important things that you can devote your time to doing. You should always put yourself first, however, in a relationship it is easy getting caught up in our partner that we can start neglecting ourselves.
If your man is taking a time out for a little alone time… you should consider taking his cue and doing just the same thing.
It can be a really good thing if you both take some time to get a little space.
If anything has been frustrating you, take some time to think things over and decide if they are worth the energy. Do somethings by yourself, for yourself. Endlugle in your favorite activities and make sure that you aren’t losing your sense of self within the relationship.
Do Get Stuff Done!
If papering yourself just seems like a waste of time, or something you’re not wanting to do then maybe try something a little more productive. It can be frustrating when your guy needs space and you might not want to be doing nothing. Sometimes this just allows you to sit around thinking about it, which might cause you to stress out without actually getting anywhere.
This is a good time for you to also be more productive. A relationship can take a lot of your time and energy. When you take a step back from the relationship it can be a good opportunity to get some important things checked off your list.
Are there some odd jobs you just haven’t found the time to take care of? Now would be a great time to focus your mental energy towards getting these things done!
Do Connect With Friends
Another things that is so easy to do in relationships is to neglect some of the important people in our lives. Don’t worry, we all do it from time to time. It can be fun and exciting spending time with a guy your head over heels with. But don’t forget about all your family and friends!
We can get so caught up in a new relationship that we will completely forget about the other important people in our lives, and maintaining those relationships is important.
Don’t let a man stepping back make you feel unwanted or lonely! Fill some of your time with other people who you maybe haven’t made the time to see lately.
This lets you maintain those other relationships, while giving your man space and helping our the relationship you have with him too!
Do Get Creative!
With the extra time, another thing to think about is taking up a potential new hobby. You need to make sure you are whole as a person… with or without this man in your life. Having a hobby or other creative outlet is a great way to relax and put your energy into something that helps you grow as an individual!
It doesn’t have to be anything that you are amazing at, or even know how to do at all. You could take up something completely new, or try reliving one of your favorite childhood crafts.
These kinds of activities are great because they get your mind off of everything going on in your relationship. They can also be really fun, so get up and get creative! This article gives more insight.
Do Be Patient
These situations suck. Trust me, I know. You probably just want everything to go back to normal, but that’s just not how it works. These situations require patience… that is if you want him to come back to you in a happy and healthy way!
What if you were the one needing space and he just wouldn’t leave you alone? You would just get more and more distant. This is why it is so important that you remain calm and give him the time that he needs.
You being patient not only shows him that he can trust you, but it reflects that you aren’t insecure.
Guys want confident and independent women who can take care of themselves.
If him needing to be alone for a few days spends you into a tailspin it shows him just the opposite. Let him come back to you when he is ready. Trust me, if you really give him his space the odds are he will be missing you and reach out in no time!