How to celebrate your first Valentine’s Day after divorce


February 14… A bottle of wine, pizza and Netflix may sound like a good night as a Single woman, right?

It doesn’t have to be that way this Valentine’s Day!

I was a little unsure what my first Valentine’s Day would bring, I had literally just separated from my ex-spouse.  But I want to tell you, my first Valentine’s Day as a single woman who was almost 40 was a beautiful one, and it was all about me.  Sounds selfish? Oh but it wasn’t at all.  Even though I was still living together with my ex-spouse and our children, it was very emotional.  But what happened on this day was transformational.


My daughter made me a card and had placed a love heart chocolate on my bed, secretly as I showered.

That was my turning point, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be just about being part of a couple, but more about love itself, with yourself and your family and friends. 

What my daughter did for me that morning in 2014 changed the way I looked at Valentine’s Day as a single woman.  So my day was setup.  I took myself out to lunch by myself.  I then went to yoga that evening.   Love was all around.  I didn’t feel alone, in fact I felt more alive and more love for myself I had forgotten just for a moment that I was single, transitioning from a marriage to single hood.

Since then, each year, I have my children for Valentine’s Day and each year I make a special love heart treat to remind them I love them.  We spend dinner together talking about what we love and what we look forward to.  It has become a new tradition for us, one I will always cherish.

Does Valentine’s Day have to be the dreaded day reminding me I am single?  Heck no!  It’s a reminder I am OK and life goes on.  It reminds me I have love, love for myself, love for my children, love for my family and friends.

Don’t be so consumed with what is happening in the city, what they are talking about on the radio, what you maybe reading in the papers… February 14 is a day of love for you.

The reality is we can’t avoid it… and we can’t deny it exist, but what we can do is embrace it.  Embrace you.  Remember you are love.  And love always starts with you first.  Do you have to ignore it just because you are a single woman now?  What if you could turn February 14 around and make it day of love for you.

So let’s learn from my daughter.  Let’s embrace the love around us.  Let love be your teacher in life.  Love yourself first and see what happens.

Here are 10 ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year as a Single Woman:

  1. Wake up and journal all the things you are grateful for in your life right now.
  2. Meditate and set intentions for what today will bring.
  3. Nourish your body with a beautiful healthy breakfast.
  4. Contact someone in your life you respect and love and let them know you love them.
  5. Treat yourself to a lovely lunch out. Loving yourself and respecting yourself as a woman that owns February 14 as her own.
  6. Book into a spa treatment, maybe a manicure or pedicure or better yet a relaxing massage.
  7. Call your girlfriends and head out for a late afternoon walk and grab a drink and light meal afterwards.
  8. Enjoy dinner with your children, or family members and share what you love about each other.
  9. Volunteer your time, visit the hospital or hospice and give your time to show love to another.
  10. Do something you haven’t done before but always wanted to do, something that scares you.

Whatever you choose to do, ditch the Netflix, bottle of wine and family pizza for one.  You are better than that and you deserve more than that.

Valentine’s Day has become so commercialised that it can be intimidating if you let it. But let’s remember what my daughter taught me.  Valentine’s Day is about love, no matter who is in your life.

Love is all around, we just need to see it and feel it.

From me to you, Happy Valentine’s Day x


About The Author 

Joanne Michelle is a break up recovery coach  who regularly runs workshops and private sessions for both men and women going through separations. As a happily divorced woman with two children she has gone through the lows to come out stronger and wiser and wants to share her knowledge on healing with the world.



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