Single and ready to mingle?
Being single in your 40s, or starting again and going back to the dating scene can be so hard and frustrating.
You are maybe riddled with doubt and unsure about what to do and how to do it. But if you do manage to find someone and just go out there and try to date, chances are you will find happiness.
And since this is an important aspect of our lives, we are going to suggest some advice on how to get back out there.
Have realistic expectations
Going in with the right attitude and realistic expectations is crucial because it can save you from disappointments, guilt, or other bad feelings.
Firstly, accept that you are going to have a share of bad dates. Maybe with years we become picky, or just know our worth and won’t settle, but the fact is not everyone will suit you, which is why some bad dates are inevitable.
What you shouldn’t do is give up and think about how that isn’t for you. The key is in trying again, and not letting some bad experiences stop you from finding someone. Another thing you should come to terms with is that blind dates are also inevitable.
Whether you meet someone with help from friends, family, or via dating apps, blind dates are a common situation you shouldn’t run away from. Think of them as a fun and interesting experience, but have an exit plan just in case.
It is easy to become depressed, frustrated, and even quit because of it. But you have to stay positive and look at things realistically, because dating in your 40s has its benefits. When you reach a certain age, love and support become something that comes naturally.
There are no more childish games, or wondering what the other person thinks. By that point, we all become open, and above all honest, which makes building a relationship that much easier.
So, the next time you think dating and new love at your age are a bit odd, think about the security you will have. Besides, there is no wrong age when love is in question.
Learn to balance between personal and professional
It is not a very good idea to start dating right after a break-up. You should let some time pass so you can look at the situation and figure out if you are dating because you are lonely, or because you are truly ready.
Until reaching middle age, most women are fulfilled in their lives, especially when it comes to academic education and professional careers. They know their priorities and can combine personal lives with their careers.
This is one more reason to start dating when you are ready because you don’t want your further development and professional life to suffer.
And if you need additional help in combining the two, school management software can help you stay focused on your personal development while still having time for social life.
Don’t compare them with your ex
It is hard to leave a big part of your life behind you, and start something new. It can be scary, but this is something that will make you feel alive. You should speak of your ex fondly, and not spill all the bad experiences you may have had.
However, don’t talk about them too much, because you can create an impression that you still love them. Don’t hide them either, but know your limits. Another tricky situation you will have to overcome is comparing your ex to someone you are currently seeing.
This doesn’t happen because you are still in love. It is just something we normally do. But if this happens, remember that there is a reason why you are no longer with them and try to focus your attention on getting to know the new person in your life, who may be even more interesting.
Accept your fears and deal with them
Starting to date again is hard, but keeping an open and positive mind is one of the most important things. This means, don’t be afraid to get rejected at times.
We have all been there, and it doesn’t feel nice, but don’t be discouraged. Think of how you could have done the same thing, and honestly, you can’t click with everyone, so just keep looking.
Another thing you can’t be afraid of is making the first move. Not having to play those silly games of who gets to make the first move is one of the benefits of dating in your 30s and 40s.
Besides, men love open women, so why not interest him even more and approach him first. If nothing happens, it’s just one more experience that can teach you something.
Being afraid to love and be loved is something that comes out of fear of getting hurt, which is pretty normal. The best advice is to start everything casually, give it some time, and then decide.
Don’t think that dating apps and social networks are just for kids and teenagers. It is actually a great way to meet someone.
You get to see their interests, hobbies and how they look, so you can make an easier decision. Having said that, when making your profile, be honest, but don’t overshare, post photos, but don’t try to look a lot younger, or different, just be yourself.
If you are not sure about dates right away, you can get to know them a bit via social networks and then decide.
However, be extra safe because the internet is a place where you can easily get tricked. Just don’t share your personal data, and choose public places to meet, and everything will be ok.
Although frightening, dating at a certain age can also be a fun, exciting, and life-changing experience. Keep an open mind, don’t let the age thing come in the way, and just be realistic.
If you need extra help, technology, and dating apps are there to make it easier for you, so don’t make too many excuses, get back out there, and good luck!
About The Author:
Isabel William is consultant by day and a blogger by night and Mom to twins 24/7.Area of interest includes education, well being, mental health, as well as self-improvement. Considered by her peers a lifetime educator, whose passion is love for writing and helping people, parenting, education and science.