Feeling Insecure In Your Relationship?
We all have the moments where we second guess ourselves and wonder if we are everything we can be. But what happens when you leave these thoughts unchecked and fear starts to grow?
Relationships take time to build trust , and there will always be some level of risk involved. However if you are feeling constantly insecure in your marriage or relationship , then it’s time to get on top of it.
When we all fear and insecurities to rule our lives it takes away from our joy , peace and potential. Whilst some insecurities are are justified by the other persons behaviour , others are blown out of proportion because we are either living in the past experiences or have not mastered our own self love and the notion of what is required of a healthy relationship.
So here are a few tips to help you overcome feeling insecure in your relationship :
1) Name them
When we can put a name to what our fears and insecurities are , it give us a starting place to work from. Write a list of how you feel and try and put a name to each of those feelings to identify what they are.
2) Find the source –
Now that you have worked out what your insecurities are , you have to find the underlying source that is feeding them. This is the only way to start working on the solutions to getting rid of insecurities in your relationship.
Have you had past childhood trauma cause you to mistrust people? Do you have low self esteem issues because of not feeling loved by previous partners or your parents?
3) Communicate Openly –
It’s important to talk about your fears , doubts and feelings. Insecurities in relationships don’t just magically go away after talking about them once.
Healing and trust are both processes , not over night cures. Learn to step out and start conversations with your partner even if you feel uncomfortable .
4) Get Help-
We underestimate the power of reaching out and asking for help. I know that my own personal breakthrough came from taking that first step and getting professional help. Getting help to deal with feeling insecure does not make your weak
5) Counteract the problem
We often think that the solution has to be some crazy extreme behaviour or something we just magically feel like doing. But sometimes the best way to deal with relationship insecurities is to simply counteract the behaviour or thought with a different action or thought.
For example , if you feel like you have trust issues , then learning to have less control rather than more will help you build more trust by default in your relationship.
6) Focus on your strengths.
Whatever you feed is what will grow ,so start focusing on what is right and secure first. This won’t be easy as your mind will want to wander back to fear. So as soon as you feel yourself going down the negative path, stop count backwards from 5 and then choose a more positive thought.
This doesn’t mean you are in denial , but rather choosing to put energy into something that will edify you so you can make a rational decision about your problems.
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