Bring back the phone calls
It’s really exciting when you give a guy your number or he starts contacting you on the dating app, and you start texting back and forth.
But what’s frustrating is when you just want him to stop the texting, pick up the phone and actually call you.
Well, in this video, I’m actually going to teach you how to get him to stop texting and actually pick up the phone and call you.
Let’s be honest, it is normal to actually text each other quite frequently, more so than call.
We have become a generation that is all about what is convenient rather than actually prioritizing effort and actions to communicate and value and actually communicate better.
So the question is how do we actually step out of that mindset and into maybe something that isn’t so comfortable, which is picking up the phone and actually having a real conversation.
The reason why women really crave to have a real conversation with a guy is that it actually shows that he is making the effort to be able to get to know her on a more personal level.
Tip number one : stop rewarding him texting you with more texting.
The thing is, is if you start off texting each other, you’re basically initiating a conversation so it’s normal for him to want to continue to initiate it through that method.
Now, what you need to do is if you actually want to get him to pick up the phone and call you, you need to stop feeding and encouraging him to want to message you even more rather than call you.
And how do we do that?
We stop asking so many questions to keep the conversation going via text, and we start getting his curiosity levels up a little bit more, and then actually inviting him to want to call us.
We don’t necessarily do this directly.
We don’t necessarily say, “Oh, why don’t you just pick up the phone and call me?” What we do is we do it in kind of a flirty way. For example, if he says to you, “How’s your week going?”
And you might be like, “Well, my week’s been going great. Something really exciting happened to me.” Instead of you actually going, “Well, something exciting happened to me, blah, blah, .” And then telling him the story through texts.
Well, if you do that, he doesn’t really have a reason to call you because you’ve literally given him the answer.
He’s probably just going to continue to text you back. What you need to do in this instance is you need to say, “Something really exciting happened.” Then leave it at that.
Then he’ll probably text back and say, “Oh, what happened? You’ve got me curious now, I want to know.”
That’s when you can then message back and go, “Well, if you’d really like to know, because it’s pretty awesome. You have my number, why don’t you just give me a little call.”
It’s something that is flirty, it’s something that is a little bit cheeky. You’re not telling him, you are suggesting a call.
Or you’re asking, would he like to call you instead of actually demanding.
Which brings me to point number two: actually ask for a phone call.
Can I just say that there is a difference between initiating a phone call and asking for him to call you, as opposed to demanding like I was saying before.
Simply asking allows him to understand that you’re being completely transparent with what you want. And guys aren’t mind readers.
I think most of the men out there who are watching this video will agree with me when I say you guys just want to know exactly what it is that we want, and you would rather us just tell you directly.
So girls, don’t be afraid to actually say, “Hey, I’m free at this time on Friday night. Would you like to give me a call?” If you can give maybe a specific time or specific date, you’re actually communicating to him when your timeframe is, and you’re giving him an opportunity to then step into that and actually follow through with the call.”
But asking and initiating that idea of actually having a real phone call, what you’re doing is you’re able to see if this guy is someone who is actually able to follow through and make that effort to have a phone call with you.
Now, you’ll probably find that majority of the guys out, they will actually go, “Great, awesome. I’ve got the green light, now I can actually give her a call.” If he doesn’t follow through and if he’s like, “Oh, sorry, I’m busy.” Or, “I can’t do then.”
And then he doesn’t suggest another time that he can call or he just doesn’t call you randomly, then I think you have a bit more of an indication of where his priorities lie.
The third thing : is you need to give a little bit of mystery and a little bit of chase.
If you can be a little bit ambiguous, a little bit cheeky, a little bit flirty, it actually makes you want to do more effort.
It makes him want to pursue you a little bit more because you’re not just giving everything away to him. Now, I never suggest playing games, girls.
Don’t sit there and look at the phone and go, “Well, I’m not going to text back for three hours.”
That is basically you revolving your life around trying to get a man to chase you, and it’s not going to be fulfilling, and it is not going to work. It is going to exhaust you.
If you want to create mystery and chase without actually feeling like you have to think about it, keep yourself busy.
Keep yourself busy with doing your own thing, your own purpose. Don’t go and put everything into just having this guy wanting to call you or just putting your sole focus on trying to build a relationship with this person.
Keep doing your thing. Don’t just drop everything and just text him back as soon as he starts to reach out and text you.
Actually keep doing what you’re doing and be strategic in how you do text back.
As I said before, don’t go and just keep asking lots and lots of questions, if this is something that you actually want to have a real conversation about. Be bold about the fact that you want to have a conversation on the phone.
If he isn’t willing to pick up the phone and actually call you, then I can tell you right now, he probably won’t be willing to do other basic things out there in order to be able to keep a relationship healthy, strong, and exciting.
Now, the next thing you can actually do is you can call him.
And I know that’s pretty crazy, and it’s probably not what you want to do. But again, initiating doesn’t mean chasing.
I want you to think of it this way. Initiating comes from a place of self-confidence, it comes from a place of, “This is what I would like, so I’m actually going to initiate it. For example, I’m going to pick up the phone and I’m going to call him.”
Sometimes by just doing it, you have a direct answer instead of just waiting and hoping.
Now, chasing would be calling him every single time.
Chasing a guy is when basically you enter into a mindset of lack, where he is actually lacking putting any effort and investment back and you’re trying to make up for it
. And it also comes from fear. Fear that if you don’t hear from him, then things aren’t going to go anywhere. So you constantly make up again for his lack of effort.
So don’t be afraid to actually initiate the first call.
Now, if you are a little bit nervous doing that, what I suggest is actually, funny enough, sending a text saying, “Hi, are you free to chat in five minutes?” Now, he might be thinking in his head, “Oh, she means, am I free to text back to her in five minutes?” But then you surprise him with a phone call. Now, if he doesn’t answer, that’s okay.
Don’t go and continue to text and call him back straight away. Allow him to then reach out and text or call you if he doesn’t answer.
The last thing that you want to do is apologize for calling. No apologies here.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to initiate a phone call with a guy that you want to get to know better. All right. So don’t go apologizing if you call and he does not answer, or if he does answer and say, “Oh, hey. Sorry, I can’t talk. I’m really busy.” Again, you weren’t to know that, so don’t go over to apologize.
Stand in your power and say something like, “Oh, okay. No worries. I’ll call you back at another time. Or if you like, you can call me.” And then simply keep it like that in the call and allow him to make the next move.
And lastly, do not enter into a textual relationship.
A textual relationship is where you get really familiar and really personal on screen or through a phone instead of actually doing that interpersonal.
It means that you’re basically taking what you should be doing through actually voice communication and seeing each other face to face such as how do I feel, flirting, maybe intimate exchanges, things like that.
That should be happening in person, it shouldn’t actually have me through a text screen.
Because if you start giving him the relationship benefits through a text screen without him making any effort of calling you or actually initiating a real date, then you are essentially giving him everything that he wants without him needing to put in extra effort.
And that’s when you set the tone for that relationship.
And if you’re finding that men aren’t really stepping up and making the effort to woo you, pursue you, and communicate with you, then I suggest downloading my free guide:
In this guide, you’ll understand the different personality types and actions that we can do either consciously or subconsciously as women to push men away, and what we need to do in order to be able to get them to chase us back.