Ok so I’m guessing the heading alone is going to cause a few reactions, some will scoff while others will just find it too tempting not to read on and see if maybe just maybe I have the golden answer?! Ultimately you have control over who you date and choose to invite into your heart and life, so let’s look at some practical ways to attract that man you have always desired:
1. Love yourself
That’s right this old chestnut! It all starts with loving yourself and knowing your value as an individual and not letting anyone else treat you for less than you are. This is something that takes consistent daily work, but is the KEY to every relationship you have in your lifetime. Without self love you will never be able to be fully satisfied in any other facet of your life, you will always be waiting for something or someone to complete or validate your worth instead of being a whole and happy individual. Loving yourself is learning to say no to people and situations that require you to compromise your self worth, values, beliefs, integrity, dreams and friends/family. It’s also learning to let go of people who mistreat or abuse you and understanding when you need to put your happiness first. Self love involves breaking, healing, growth and change but most of all grace. It’s learning to fight for what you deserve, believing in your cause and not settling for anything less than you are worthy of.
2. Write a list of the man you want
Time to get precise ladies, no more wishy washy answers; what do you really want your man to look like (in terms of character as well as appearance)? Make a list, write down all the qualities and traits you wish him to possess, and be specific with all the details. Be honest with yourself, if you want a man who’s adventurous or romantic or a good cook then write these things down. The funny thing is when you look back over the list , naturally you’ll start to prioritise each character point and what’s most important to you will be at the top of the list ( trust me after a few bad dates your list changes dramatically!)
3. Write a list of the relationship you deserve
Just like above, write down a list of the type of relationship you desire to have. Get specific, be realistic but most of all be honest with yourself.
4. Stop dating the wrong men (again and again)
Here’s a simple concept: learn to say no to the wrong type of men! However we all know this is harder than we think; it takes mental and emotional discipline, heck even physical strength sometimes to walk away from a man that we know isn’t right for us. You always have a choice and if you are serious about wanting to start your life with someone, be in a for filling relationship and move into a new season then you’ll stop dating time wasters, douche bags or even just guys that aren’t on the same page . The key is to only date the man that lines up with your list, if you know what you want and more importantly what you need in a man, then don’t compromise that just for sake of being with someone.
5. Be realistic
Ok girls lets come down from the clouds, whilst we may have this magical dream man in our head we also need to have realistic expectations and not set the standards so high that we end up alone with 72 cats! Yes it’s important to have standards and we are all attracted to different things in a man, just learn the difference between compromising and settling i.e.: compromising that he might be only 6ft instead of 6’2” or doesn’t own 3 houses and doesn’t like red wine! Settling is giving up you core values or beliefs and dreams for a man.
6. Don’t settle, it’s worth the wait.
It’s hard to wait when you desire something so much, but it’ll be an even longer process if you continue to date the wrong men for you. Don’t put all your time and focus into meeting Mr Right, instead ‘put it out there’ but continue on with your life, career, friends and dreams. Live in the present not in the future; learn to find joy as a single as it will set you up for your season as a partner. Your man is coming, you are worthy of the best and it’s only a matter of time, so don’t be discouraged “you can’t rush something you want to last forever” .