Any parent can tell you that raising children is a full-time job.
Burping babies, making lunches, and helping with homework can leave partners feeling exhausted by the end of the day. This can leave little room for couples to spend time together. And changing diapers hardly leaves either parent feeling particularly sexy.
Don’t let parenthood take away from the romance and intimacy you once shared with your partner. There are many beneficial reasons to keep the romance alive in your marriage.
Studies show that the oxytocin hormone released between couples during intimacy and other non-sexual touching can greatly improve their relationship. This cuddle hormone is shown to increase trust between partners, improve emotional intimacy, and reduce stress.
These are 6 parenting tips for keeping your romantic life healthy while raising children.
Schedule a Regular Date Night
Couples cannot experience the joys of romance and intimacy if they don’t’ make time for a regular date night.
Date night has been shown to improve a couple’s sexual connection. It also adds a certain level of novelty to a marriage that prevents partners from experiencing boredom.
Take turns planning a date each week that promotes quality time together. You may plan an activity around your spouse’s interest or even take up a new hobby together. You can go as elaborate -dinner and a helicopter ride over your city- or as low-key -picnic in your backyard- as you like.
Learn How to Fight Fair
One of the biggest parenting tips you can follow is to learn how to fight fair.
Having the occasional argument with your spouse is all a part of being married. But parenthood doesn’t afford couples the opportunity to have long, drawn-out fights. And who needs those in a happy household, anyway? They weaken morale and put a huge damper on your sex life.
Things to consider when fighting fair:
- Listen without interruption
- Don’t raise your voice or use this as an excuse to dredge up other issues
- Do not blow the issue out of proportion
- Attack the issue, not one another
- Don’t withdraw
- Be open and honest about what you need
You are not arguing for the sake of getting your way or for winning the fight. No, you are arguing with a view to fixing whatever problem is at hand and moving on from it as soon as possible.
Fighting fair will do away with unnecessary arguments and will give you more time and a better mental state for romancing one another.
Look for ways to be kind
Studies show that couples who express gratitude and kindness toward one another were statically more likely to report increased levels of relationship satisfaction.
Some ideas for daily kindness may include:
- Making your spouse their morning coffee each day
- Giving your partner the day/night off to pursue their own hobbies or to spend time with friends
- Making an appreciation list to remind you why you fell in love with them in the first place
- Say please and thank you regularly
- Call your spouse just to say “I love you”
Go out of your way to be kind to your spouse. Doing so will not only improve their mood and give you extra brownie points, but it will go a long way in strengthening your marriage.
Utilize Friends and Family
It can be difficult for couples to set aside time for a romantic date night. They may feel guilty spending money on a babysitter or aren’t sure how to stay home and juggle entertaining the kids while trying to woo their partner.
The good news is, paying a babysitter is hardly necessary. As parents, your friends and family are there to support you, so why aren’t you utilizing them as assets in your lives? Ask your close friends or family members if they would be willing to babysit one night a week while you spend time reconnecting.
If your friends or family also have children, remember to pay it forward and offer your services to babysit for them sometimes as well.
Make the Time
Some couples have schedules that are jam-packed. Between working full-time and caring for their little ones, they can hardly imagine devoting a whole evening during the week for a date night.
If this sounds familiar to you, don’t fret. Even the busiest of couples can enjoy quality time together – but they must be willing to make the time.
Sometimes a schedule may not allow for an all-out evening of romance. If this is the case, go out of your way to look for opportunities to spend time together as a couple.
- Cook dinner together playing your favorite music and sipping wine
- Get up earlier in order to spend an extra hour with one another
- Take advantage of your child’s nap, school, and bedtime
- Go to bed an hour later so that you can be intimate or connect on an emotional level
- Spend time talking after dinner instead of watching television
Even marriages with the most hectic of schedules can benefit from romance and intimacy, but they must make it a priority – even if that means sacrificing an activity you like to do solo in order to spend more time with your spouse.
Don’t Give Up
One of the biggest parenting tips you’ll hear from parents is this: life is crazy – so just go with it!
Romance and intimacy are not one-time things. You have to work at them in your marriage in order for your relationship to be successful.
Things aren’t always going to be perfect in your marriage or in your parenting resumes. Instead of worrying about how something is going to turn out or how you’ll even get your schedules in order, just enjoy the wild ride and never stop trying.
One of the best parenting tips all couples should know is that a healthy marriage creates strong, happy parents. Couples should look for opportunities to pursue romance and intimacy with one another. This will strengthen the marriage and enhance physical and emotional intimacy.
Author Bio : Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.