Love will travel as far as you let it.
True love is rare.
Whether you have this great connection with a guy you met online and they live a bit too far for your liking, or your relationship took an unexpected turn, and now you have to do long-distance — if it’s the real deal, it’s worth the struggle.
Don’t get discouraged immediately. An LDR comes with a fair amount of challenges, but it doesn’t have to be the end. There are countless examples of LDRs that stood the test of time and distance.
Actually, most of those who failed to keep love alive did it because they took the dive unprepared.
To help you sail smoothly into this new phase of your relationship, we came up with a few things you’d like to have in mind before you embark on this journey.
1. Accept Your New Reality
Now that your relationship is going to do a full one-eighty, it’s time to get real and accept the newly-established situation.
Accept the fact that it won’t always be easy, and there will be plenty of things to figure out along the way. But, the sooner you realize you are about to be in a long-distance relationship, the easier it will be to adjust to the new circumstances.
Just remember, keep an open mind and an open heart. Things will fall into place soon enough.
2. Talk About Your Needs and Expectations in the Relationship
Talk, talk a lot — every spare moment you get before one of you moves away. Make it very clear about what you expect your LDR to look like and what you’ll need from one another during the time you are separated.
Most importantly, stay open about your feelings. Let them know how this turn of events is affecting you and what you’ll expect to happen to make this soon-to-become LDR work.
3. Make Sure You Are on the Same Page Regarding Commitment
It might be the least pleasant of topics, but you better bring it up before it all goes down.
Are the two of you allowed to flirt? Are you okay with them partying every weekend?
This conversation will let you know if your partner is willing to stay committed to you or whether they’d like to explore an open relationship.
The distance can be a game-changer! Don’t end up with a broken heart and a bag full of disappointments just because you were afraid to ask.
4. Start Planning How and When You’re Going to Communicate
Soon enough, you’ll realize you can’t predict and plan every aspect of your LDR. However, it’s a good idea to roughly know what you can control and aim for.
Prepare yourself for the most basic stuff and work out a routine if possible:
• Check the time zones (if there are any changes).
• Take a look at your schedules (work, school, sports activities, etc.).
• Work out the best times you could make a video call or have a longer conversation.
• Talk about how you will celebrate important dates like birthdays and anniversaries.
• Come up with a travel/visit plan (check flight costs).
• See what you can do to keep the spark alive.
5. Make Honesty and Trust Top Priority
Trust is paramount in any relationship, not just in an LDR.
If you haven’t been sharing many personal details with your partner, maybe it’s time you start getting comfortable with the idea. Not that you have to share your bathroom schedule, but intimacy lies in details.
Talk about everything and anything.
A new address will probably bring new crowds, places, and events.
Don’t omit the truth or leave out new experiences just because you think your partner won’t like them.
When you leave a lot of room for guessing, expect assumptions to fill in the gaps, and they are the worst thing that can happen to any relationship.
6. Get Social (With Your LDR Partner)
Use technology to your advantage. Get on FaceTime and amp up your texting game. Install all the apps you will be using, open profiles, set up accounts, pay for subscriptions.
Do whatever it takes to feel safe, comfortable, and connected in your new LDR.
Of course, nothing compares to being physically close with your boyfriend, but in this case, words/photos and videos will have to do, at least for a while.
You won’t always have the time for lengthy video calls, but you’d be surprised how far texting a simple ‘good morning, love’ can take you.
It’s all about making your partner feel cared for, despite all the miles separating you.
You can also use your imagination, play games, set up virtual dates! There are so many LDR games and activities to help you break the routine!
A long-distance relationship sounds like a lot of work, but it doesn’t have to be. Honesty, love, a little effort, and dedication can go a long way.
When you are with the right person, love can conquer anything — and distance is no exception