In the age of online dating websites and social media profiles, you can be forgiven for thinking that securing a second date is all about looks.
Quick update; this couldn’t be further from the truth! A recent survey by beauty and wellness booking platform,Bookwell, found that confidence, not looks, is the key to success in the world of dating. We all know, however, that mastering the art of confidence and ‘faking it till you make it’, is easier said than done.
The warmer months often leads to more dating, so I’ve put together my top tips to help you slay that second date:
How to ask for a second date
Firstly, keep in mind that dating is all about YOU. Instead of shaping yourself to attract the ‘perfect’ person, be yourself (I know, that old cliche) and attract the right person foryou.
Once you find that person, don’t sabotage the situation with self-doubt by asking yourself whether they actually want to see you again. This is the biggest mistake people make when trying to score a second date.
Ever heard the phrase gut instinct? Of course you have! Go with your gut and if that’s leaning towards asking them out for the second time, then do it! Putting yourself out there is all part of the process.
What to do on the second date
To be relaxed and confident on a second date, you need to be comfortable in your surroundings. Therefore, when deciding what to do, choose somewhere or something that’s familiar to you. A sense of familiarity will help you feel calm and will also take some of the pressure off.
Doing something you genuinely enjoy will not only help you feel relaxed and confident, but it will also give your date more of an insight into your personality. It’s time to show yourself off – so if you love being outdoors, for example, spend the day on the beach or go for a walk somewhere adventurous.
How to set yourself up for that illustrious third date
A third date is more than just getting to know the other person; it’s a sign that you are both interested and are keen for things to progress. However, before you jump ahead and plan the third date, look after yourself and think about whether this is something you are really wanting to pursue.
The conversation throughout the second date should help guide your decision. Of course, show interest in what your date has to say, but it’s also important to dive a little deeper into your date’s personality, be bold! Ask questions and share relevant stories of your own. Swapping stories is how we connect with each other on a deeper level.
Whether the second date works out or not, don’t let past experiences get in the way of being yourself and finding that special someone. Have confidence that your unique quirks and personality will attract the right person for you!
Meg Tuohey is a relationship psychologist who specialises in women and their families.
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