Forgiveness is said to be a gift for the one that’s doing the forgiving.
It is not about letting the person off the hook for whatever the offense they committed. I’d like to think that forgiveness is a personal gift to self but it can also be a gift to the offender, simply because it releases them from guilt and shame.
It frees the both of you. Again forgiveness is not a question of letting the other person off the hook, but more about making the choice to unhook yourself.
Have you noticed how un-forgiveness makes you feel on a day to day basis? If you’re being honest, I’m sure that you would express that it makes you feel a lack of energy as it takes a lot of energy to stay angry and in pain.
Wouldn’t it be great to not have to carry that pain with you from day to day? Before you are able to give of yourself to someone else, you have to give to you first.
Forgiveness is powerful when it comes to finding that special one.
It is equally powerful if you are burdened down with un-forgiveness, and transfer the negative energy from it to your potential date or mate.
Realize that when you enter into a relationship, you bring all your experiences from the past so if that connects to un-forgiveness then you are in a 3 way relationship; you, your partner and the un-forgiveness.
The letting go of anger, resentment, disappointment and overall pain will open you up to clarity and a deeper connection with another. Once you are clear, you will choose from a healthy place.
If I’m stuck in all of the negative energy un-forgiveness brings, I will attract those attributes as well. We often attract attributes of who we are, good or bad.
When you are free, happy and healthy, you will be living the best part of you. When you are living your best life free of un-forgiveness, you are now on the path to finding the one.
A friend of mine dated several good guys when she took my advice and let go of the un-forgiveness. She attracted healthy guys because she was living healthy and the unhealthy ones that tried to date her- she was able to see clearly that they were not the one for her.
Forgiveness takes the blinders off which is what the freedom of letting go does. Often when we are holding on to the past it connects to insecurity as well which is a recipe for disaster when attempting to find the one that’s perfect for you.
She; my friend, was very insecure before her choice to let go of all the un-forgiveness. Once she made that choice, she didn’t waste the time of needing another to define how great she was, she already had done the work and new that revelation herself.
Are you ready to forgive?
I know you want to so here some tips to help you on your journey:
- Be honest with self
If you’re not honest with yourself then you will not be honest with others.
- Be kind to yourself through the process
Remember this is a process so don’t be hard on yourself but show yourself compassion.
- Write down every name and situation that you need to forgive
If you are on the fence about certain people, if you feel something that’s not positive then put them on the list.
- Reflect on all the reason why you need to let go
There are no reasons that will justify you holding on to pain, anger, insecurity, disappointment or any other negative feelings.
- Ask yourself does the un-forgiveness you hold against each person or situation serve you in a positive way
The feelings and actions that result from un-forgiveness do not serve you in a positive way, isn’t it about time to get on the other side?
- Write a letter to each person that has offended you. The point is not to give it to them but to expose your feelings and let the pain and anger go.
Take your time with this because it takes a moment to reflect on your innermost thoughts
- As a symbol of letting go you can choose to tear it up, burn it or disregard it in how you see fit.
This is such a freeing exercise. It’s amazing how you feel when you choose to disregard those emotions in whatever way you decide.
- Send positive energy or a prayer for that individual daily.
By doing this, you will find that the negative feelings will begin to diminish. You will feel free and happy.
If you are serious about finding the one or being found, strongly consider letting go of the un-forgiveness, forgive everyone and everything. By making the choice to take your freedom back and unhook yourself from the anchor of un-forgives will result in freedom and open the door for the one to walk in.
About the Author
Dr. Michelle R. Hannah, through her life’s medical challenges and overwhelming love for humanity and the health and well-being of women, is among the most influential women today. Michelle’s family, education, and personality molded her for life as a resounding voice for women, particularly in areas of health and wellness, evidenced by her fight against cervical cancer and human papillomavirus (HPV).
She has coached marriage and family counselors on creating a deeper connection with their clients and wrote curriculum for their workshops, seminars and group sessions.
Michelle’s successful career in public speaking spans over 15 years. In 2013, Michelle’s book The Breaking Point: A Full-Circle Journey was followed by a workbook. Michelle will release her third book 2019, The Vows. Michelle has helped many couples stay together and live their best life. You can follow her on Instagram or check out her website.