If the honeymoon phase of your relationship seems like but a distant memory , then it’s usually it’s an indication that you need to reprioritise your relationship .
We all know that marriages can become a little stale after a few years and that children usually take first priority . But how can we make sure that we aren’t putting our marriage on the back burner purely because it becomes harder to give it the attention it needs?
Insert the latest millennial term and phase : Honeyboomers .
Confused? Honeyboomers refers to parents who have chosen to seek new adventure , travel and experiences outside or after having children , in order to rekindle their love .
In short it’s a new way to have the honey moon period all over again , only this time it’s not about celebrating new love , but refreshing the old.
The research polled over 1,000 Australians (couples with children aged 13+), revealing more than three quarters (76%) of couples miss having fun with their partner and over one third (35%) believe a child-free holiday will help them remember why they fell in love.
A holiday without the kids …sounds like an expensive unrealistic dream right? Well thanks to Carnival Cruise Line they have fully embraced the whole Honeyboom season and have seen an increase of 80% in couples with children sailing without the kids to experience a new found romance with their spouse.
We spoke to relationship expert John Aiken who is partnering with Carnival Cruise Line to offer the advice and support that every married couples needs when fleeing the nest in search of rekindling their relationship:
Q: What are some of the biggest pressures a couple can face in a marriage?
One of the biggest pressures a couple can face in a marriage is not having enough time together to cultivate their relationship. Some of the other major stressors can include poor communication, parenting roles, managing money, putting boundaries around technology use, work hours, and lack of intimacy
Q: How often should couples be spending alone time away together?
All couples are different when it comes to one on one time, however it’s important that it happens on a regular basis so that you can connect and feel special.
It’s vital to find a balance in which both members of the couple are happy with the time they spend together, whilst still maintaining outside friendships, family time and achieving professional and personal goals. If you haven’t spent time alone since the kids came along, it’s definitely time to start making it a priority.
Q: How can couples create a balance between work, life, children and marriage?
The key to creating a balance in your personal life is to make your relationship a priority and to do things continually to bring your partner close, regardless of how busy your life becomes. One of the ways couples are now doing this, is by travelling on cruises once their kids get older.
Research conducted by Carnival Cruise Line christened these types of couples‘Honeyboomers’ – couples enjoying a second honeymoon now that their kids are less reliant on them. These couples want to put the fun back into their relationship, they see holidaying together as the perfect way to enjoy shared new experiences, fun and adventure.
Q: Why is it important for couples to share new experiences together?
Shared experiences are what keep relationships fun and exciting. They are important to help you develop shared interests as a couple and build a strong bond that makes you feel supported. It’s also a great way of creating new fresh fun memories that can strengthen your overall sense of togetherness.
Q: How can we keep the feeling of being in love thriving in a long term relationship or marriage?
The way to keep fires burning in a long-term relationship is to remember to do little things daily and often for one another.
So make sure you prioritise hellos and goodbyes by kissing each other, debrief everyday about your stressors, bring up issues with a gentle tone, parent as a team, ask little questions about one another’s day, give daily compliments , share the chores , limit technology/phone use , go to bed at the same time and prioritise affection.
Q: Your top 3 tips for any couples feeling the strain and distance between them?
Embrace the fun
• Make sure you put time aside for fun, just for the sake of it. That day-to-day routine can be monotonous; work, bills errands and commitments often take away from the frivolity of everyday life.
Find the new
• Don’t be afraid to try something different; perhaps try a new hobby, go to a new restaurant or book a holiday, to rewind and relax together.
Plan a trip
• It is important to share time together, so perhaps take a holiday without the kids to focus some on some quality time as a couple (e.g. Honeyboom). Whether it’s relaxing by the pool, jumping on a water-slide or snorkelling in the South Pacific, just make sure the time away brings back the spark with shared experiences you both enjoy.
It’s safe to say that whilst we can feel guilty for not putting our kids first all the time , not prioritising your spouse or marriage will eventually affect the children in some way . So if you are looking for an excuse to get away and fall involve again with each other ; do it for the kids! 😉
John Aiken is trained in the field of relationships and has been working in private practice for over 20 years. He focuses on giving out practical advice to singles and couples. John has provided expert commentary on a number of TV shows, the most recent being the relationship expert for Channel 9’s hit series Married At First Sight.He is also a best-selling author, a sought-after public speaker and runs exclusive relationship retreats.
John Aiken is currently working alongside Carnival Cruise Line on their Honeyboomer campaign. Honeyboomers are a growing trend of guests on Carnival Cruise Line Cruises –couples with older or adult kids that are booking a cruise to have fun and rediscover their relationships.