It’s funny how we see dating as something we only do before we get married. I mean sure it is the first step and it does describe the period before you get into a serious relationship. But who says that it has to stop there?
We forget that dating is also a way make the person we love feel special, that it involves romance and quality time together. These are all important factors of any healthy marriage , so why stop dating even after you have been hitched?
The answer is you shouldn’t. We need to change our mindset that the courtship stops after the wedding. Choosing to still “date” your spouse will literally transform your marriage , and here’s why :
1: Dating brings back the spark .
Dating is fun. We love the excitement and butterflies it can bring. It helps to stir up that chemistry and keep things fresh and interesting. It’s no secret that relationships can get into a routine become stagnant or boring. When we decided to do what we use to do in the beginning to win that person’s heart, we become more creative and start to become spontaneous.
Your marriage isn’t meant to be this daily ritual of predictability. It’s supposed to be full of joy and adventure. Choosing to bring the dating culture back into your relationship will give it that spark again.
2: It encourages you to spend time together.
Before marriage, you used to set aside time to just be with each other. This was most likely because you lived in different houses and had your own schedules. Just because you are now living and doing life together, doesn’t mean that your relationship is getting the quality time that it needs .
How many times have you had week after week past and never set time aside to connect with each other? How many times have you felt like you are two strangers co-existing under the same roof ? Trust me, it’s possible to still feel lonely in a relationship or marriage.
By deciding to date each other weekly , it forces you as a couple to set time aside to focus on just each other in a relaxed and either intimate or fun way.
3: It builds intimacy .
We often think that intimacy is something that just occurs over time. Whilst this might be true to some degree, we still need to be consciously aware of trying to build and maintain intimacy with our partner regularly. Dating is all about getting to know each other, talking about everything and everything , kissing and being affectionate.
Keeping the intimacy in your marriage is more than just having sex once a week. It’s about connecting beyond the physical, communicating , and also making each other laugh. When we date , it takes off the pressure of what an every day marriage can bring.
4: It brings back romance , which relationships need.
You have to work to keep the romance alive in your relationship . This isn’t just about Valentine’s Day or once in a blue moon . Making each other feel valued, romanced and special is exactly what dating does.
We think that just because we are now settled that we no longer have to do the ground work. Well sure. all your foundations should be laid, however romance is and always will be something that is required all year round, in every stage of your relationship.
Dating each other , even after you are married means that you are choosing to prioritize the romantic side of your relationship. It’s not about grand expensive gestures , but just putting a little thought into your actions and time together.
5: It means you take the focus of yourself.
Any relationship will start to fall apart, when we stop making it about the other person, and only focus on ourselves. Loving someone is about choosing to put them at the top of your list and putting aside your own agenda. Yes we all need to have a healthy dosage of self love, but there is a big difference between “self love” and “selfish love” .
When we date someone, we are out to impress them. We make it all about them, because we are trying to win their heart and keep their attention. Plus we also want to show them how we feel , and the best way to do that is prioritize them above your own needs.
How many times have you put yourself before your husband just out of convenience? Or how many times have you felt that you are being undervalued in your marriage? Dating helps bring back the focus to each other , it restores the balance and of course makes it more enjoyable and exciting along the way