There are times when even the most rational women will question their sanity when it comes to dealing with men and their relationship. I mean how many times have you wondered, “ was I being a drama queen? “ when in fact we have to ask instead “ Why would I let him get away with that crap!?” .
Our lovely emotions can sometimes get the better of us and perhaps there were times that we shouldn’t have thrown a vase (or ourselves) on the ground wailing in despair, however lets touch on 5 common scenarios that give you permission to put your foot down:
1: When he goes out all the time and doesn’t communicate
It’s one thing to have social time apart from each other, but it’s altogether different when he consistently goes and parties without you and doesn’t even bother to communicate throughout the night.
Communication is fundamental to any relationship and in situations like this it isn’t about not trusting him and needing to know his every move, but rather just showing one another the courtesy that you are thinking of them, or letting them know you are still alive and haven’t passed out in a gutter somewhere.
It’s normal to freak out if you haven’t heard from your man from over 12 hours, especially if you know the people and scenario he is in, so do if you feel the need to call and text him to get a response then do that. ( just limit the amount of times, trust is often built in uncomfortable ways)
2: When other girls try to get in between you and your man
This is not acceptable, and even if the girl just wants to “be friends” boundaries need to be set firmly down from the beginning. It is not ok for some random or even well know girl to be constantly contacting your man, or tagging him in photos as her “bestie” or asking him to go out and not inviting you.
Often we can get worried that we might offend someone by saying something to them, but your relationship and value should take priority over that. It’s not about being jealous or trying to control your man and who he talks to, it’s about being wise, seeing the red flags and addressing them in a level headed way.
3: When it’s been years and he still can’t make that big commitment
No wonder why you feel like you are being dramatic, because you are probably at your wits end! If he still can’t commit after all this time then chances are he won’t unless you take drastic action.
You can’t change a man but you can make a choice to change your situation and start pursuing what you desire: happiness and commitment. If he has made it clear from the beginning that he didn’t want to commit but you stayed to try and change his mind… well then you can’t really get upset.
BUT if he has been saying he will but never follows through then it’s time to lay down the law.
4: When he fails to fall through with his promises again, and again ….and again.
This guy is someone who also has commitment issues and you are probably frustrated and starting to feel like you might go crazy! A man should want to keep his word simply because he loves you and wants to be a man that honours what he says.
Actions speak louder than words and if this is something you are experiencing then speak up!
5: When he’s in the wrong but refuses to apologise.
It’s hard to swallow your pride and admit when you are wrong, but if your guy is refusing to apologise for something that is blatantly his fault then yes you are entitled to get upset.
It’s not about belittling or condemning him but rather making known the fact that you are feeling hurt and disappointed and aren’t going to settle for being made to feel guilty for something you didn’t do.
And remember: In our relationships we need to use our emotional intelligence to make sensible decisions before we speak , because thoughts can be altered but words once spoken can never be taken back.