Q: How do I let a guy down gently? #askRenee

Because you are not obligated to say yes.

A: It’s not easy and usually pretty awkward when you have to tell a guy you don’t want another date …and unfortunately giving him a red card, running away or pretending he doesn’t exist or sending him a memo you have moved to Mars  just won’t work.

So here are a few tips on how to let him know in a kind yet firm way:

  • Don’t be ashamed or tricked into guilt just because you don’t want to date him. By being honest with yourself and him you are doing both of you a favour.
  • Keep it short and honest with a point, don’t go into long and lengthy speeches.
  • Give him a decent reason why you don’t want to see him again, eg: you aren’t feeling a connection, you aren’t ready (i.e. the truth) and then keep it at that.
  • Don’t feel you have to justify yourself till you are blue in the face or he has cunningly guilt tripped you into going on another date, stick to the plan!
  • Tell him via a way that makes you feel comfortable but one that also shows good manners and respect, texting isn’t a bad thing, it just depends how long you have been dating for…a phone call no matter how awkward is still courteous.

Just remember that turning someone down doesn’t make you a bad person or too fussy, it’s better to say no to the wrong type of person for you, so that way you don’t block the right person who will eventually come along.

Happy Dating!

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