When you first met “The One,” you were head-over-heels, madly in love.
The world seemed to revolve around the person, and you were blissfully happy. This magical feeling lasts for a while, but eventually, reality takes effect.
Mundane tasks and day-to-day chores start to take precedence over romance. Before you know it, you’re putting everything else before your partner and the relationship takes a back seat.
The real danger here is that, like anything else that is ignored for too long, your marriage may begin to deteriorate. There are several relationship killers than you need to be aware of and work to get rid of them. Before this happens, it is time to decide where your priorities lie.
A happy marriage leads to a more fulfilled and complete life. The love and support of your spouse can help you better navigate the worlds of career, hobbies and family. A prioritized, happy marriage can make all the difference to your quality of life.
But, like anything worth achieving, this requires work. Research shows that people in good marriages work on certain psychological ‘tasks’. Here are 7 Golden Rules that if followed, will help you prioritize and continually strengthen you marriage.
The cornerstone of any good marriage is communication. This is by far the number 1 rule that couples cite as the key to a happy marriage.
Talking things over is easier for some while others keep their emotions bottled up.
This can lead to bigger issues if you don’t discuss your frustrations with your partner. However, be sure to express your concerns in a calm and constructive way. Communicating every day goes a long way in keeping the relationship rock solid.
Stop trying to change your partner
Accept that you can’t control your spouse’s actions. They more you try to change them, the more they will resist. This will get you nowhere and only lead to tension and resentment.
Instead, make sure that your spouse feels as valued and appreciated as possible. No one is perfect, and forgiveness will always be required in a relationship.
Never bring up past mistakes
Let go of all the little resentments because they don’t matter in the long run. Holding on to grudges is not only detrimental to your relationship, but also to your own health.
Remind yourself of all the reasons why you fell in love with him or her in the first place.
Appreciate your partner’s strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses
Each one of us has a set of strengths and weaknesses. While you may be good at communicating, your partner may find this more difficult.
You must acknowledge their strengths and not just focus on the pitfalls. Relationships change when we assume the best from each other rather than the worst. It is always better to check your own behavior and see how you can improve before you try to change your spouse’s.
Set aside time to go on dates
Take time out to go on dates like you did in the good old days. Often your partner gets the exhausted and annoyed version of you, while the rest of the world gets the best version.
Invest in the romantic part of your relationship, by setting time aside for your spouse. Any successful relationship requires intentional, quality time together.
Actions speak louder than words
In addition to compliments, perform meaningful acts of kindness. Small gestures- such as making your partner’s favorite breakfast or doing the laundry- can go a long way in reaffirming your love and commitment.
Being selfless and putting the other person’s needs first, can show them they are appreciated. It’s often the little things that mean the most.
Be on the same team
When living with someone, arguments and misunderstandings are inevitable. Sooner or later you are going to annoy or anger each other.
But a crisis does not mean the relationship is in trouble. It can also be an opportunity and a new beginning. Strong relationships are produced out of pain and turmoil.
Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. It is important to pay attention to the bigger picture when the going gets tough.
Focus on the positive qualities that the other person brings to the table, instead of the negatives. Following the rules listed above, will require patience and dedication. But it is worth the effort, as a successful marriage is the foundation of a happy, fulfilled life.
Joyce is a writer at Majwismann.com, a site that offers tips on love, relationships, and sex life to help strengthen the physical and emotional bonding among couples.
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