To reconcile or not?
It’s the golden question we ask ourselves when out heart still hasn’t moved on , yet neither has the memory of why it didn’t work out in the first place.
It’s an ambiguous place to be , because at the end of the day there really is only 3 possible outcomes of getting back with an old flame:
1: Yes and it all becomes better and magical because of or both of you have changed for the better .
2: Yes and history repeats itself and you find yourself in the same destructive relationship and pattern.
3: No and you move on and heal your heart and find love with someone on the same path as you.
There is no real black or white answer , what it comes down to is which way you want to take the risk? However we can make a calculated and more rational based decision by asking yourself these 10 questions:
1: Was I genuinely happy before? Like really happy (down to the core)?
2: Was there peace and progress in our relationship?
3: Do we want the same things and are heading in the same direction?
4: Are we able to communicate effectively so that conflict,nagging or misunderstandings are minimal?
5: Does he add to my life ? Does he build me up and support my dreams and goals?
6: Does his behaviour endanger or hinder me in any way?
7: Can I trust him fully in every way , including in being faithful to becoming a better partner?
8: Are the problems before resolvable?
9: What do my trusted family and friends think?
10: Does this man genuinely love and respect me and our relationship?
I found that these questions really help you get to the bottom of the problem , because they are honest and confronting to a degree, but totally necessary as all the answers are integral to living a healthy and for filling relationship.
However here are also 10 answers to the questions you have been juggling in your mind:
1: Yes everyone will have an opinion of why you should or shouldn’t get back with him, better to not tell too many people to avoid confusion or unwanted opinions.
2: It is possible that you may have repeat of history ,or things may miraculously change, that is the risk you take .
3: Yes you can live without him.
4: Yes you do deserve better and shouldn’t settle just because you have already invested so much into them. Know your worth.
5: Yes people and situations can change, but don’t live in a dream world.
6: Yes you will heal and fall in love again.
7: You are no less of a woman or person if you give him a second chance, it takes a brave woman to do what you are considering doing.
8: No you aren’t a failure if it doesn’t work again .
9:Trialling and taking it slow is great idea , it doesn’t make you any less committed , but just sensible.
10: No you won’t die alone , you will find the love you deserve if not with him , then someone else.
At the end of the day only you can make a choice that is right for you , take your time to think about it and maybe even discuss with him different options of getting professional help to guide and build you both .
In all cases you should be communicating to each other what your expectations and plan are to making it work better this time round. Just remember that you are priceless and deserve to be happy .
Don’t settle x