Should we marry someone who loves us more than we love them?

 Image courtesy of Rosen Georgiev at

It’s seem’s to be some “advice” that I have heard a lot lately: “Make sure you find a man that loves you more than you love him, because then he won’t leave you.”

Um I’m not sure who exactly is giving out this type of flippant “wisdom” but I do want to challenge it because I think it’s just another way of settling for a second rate relationship .

So let’s explore this little saying and work out what exactly people are trying to say here an if it’s even worth taking note of :

Love is hard work but it shouldn’t be average!

We have all been burnt , broken and hurt to some degree by someone we trusted and loved, but this does not have to  mean that we have to lower out standards and settle for second best.

Love is a journey in which we learn ( usually by trial and error) what we want v.s what we need and what we are willing to put up with and what we should compromise on.

However a lot of women seem to think that by by having certain fundamentals such as trust, honesty and loyalty that you have to forsake on other things such as chemistry , mutual love and joy.

The thing is love doesn’t have to be second rate, and nor should it be. Yes there will be things you will have to negotiate on like  financial status or physical attributes but the actual LOVE part shouldn’t be one of them.

Marry a man that loves you more than you love yourself.

Perhaps this is how the advice should really go. If you marry a man that loves you more than you love him then in truth you will never actually be completely fulfilled or even feel the full effects of his love , simply because you do not reciprocate on the same level.

Yet if you marry a man whom you equally love and who loves you more than you love yourself, then you will have a man that lifts you up when you feel down , who make reminds you of your true worth and who will help you grow and become the best version of yourself.

Love and feelings are two separate things , but you can have both!

A lot of people are capable of loving someone , but not feeling deeply for them or in other word’s being “in love” with them. But why should we settle for just loving someone but not being madly , wholly , crazily inlove with them?!

For a lot of women perhaps they compromise because of two reasons

1: they don’t believe they are worthy of such a love or believe that it could exist …

2: They would rather settle than end up alone. Being in love is a risk , but it can be a calculated one if we choose to guard our heart and have certain standards.

Lastly ladies, it’s always important to look behind the reason someone might be giving you their advice , perhaps they have been hurt before or had a man who didn’t love them as equally as they did , so always take things with a grain of salt and a glass or perspective , because there are already many average things in life, and love shouldn’t be one of them.



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