It’s an exciting time in your relationship when the next “big step” of moving in together becomes an IKEA reality.
Such a time carries a few mixed emotions of nerves, excitement and perhaps even a little pressure. Of course within in the first week ( maybe even month) we are on our best behaviour , we make the bed, wear sexy lingerie every day and keep all out beauty products in one neat line.
Then perhaps we get a little comfortable and all of a sudden washing someone else’s dirty laundry isn’t as endearing, a bout of food poisoning makes going to the toilet a little err… musical, and heck you’ve even cracked out the Bridget Jones grandma pants because let’s face it, they’re just way more comfy.
It’s normal to go through different phases while you navigate two lives becoming one so let’s look at a few ways to survive but also thrive and enjoy living with your man:
Keep it fresh
After you both have settled in and the excitement wears off, you’ll probably start to get into a daily routine. Because you now have 24/ 7 access to each other the romance can sometimes start to wan a little and “dating” each other now seems like a thing of the past.
It’s important to identify when you are both starting to get a little too familiar or relaxed with each and make the conscious decision to keep things fresh.
Organising a date night once a week or doing something out of the ordinary helps to break the routine and introduce variety, excitement and even romance back into your relationship.
Living together or being married does not signify the end of courtship but rather the next step of it, don’t use your relationship or living status as an excuse as to why your romance has depleted, instead take responsibility for it and make it a priority no matter the circumstances.
Ahh the fun part of working out whether your man is house trained or whether you have the joy ( cough!) of teaching him how to live as an adult. It takes patience and time to adjust living with someone and chances are you will have habits that will clash and also find out things about each other that you never knew!
The trick is to learn how to communicate with him in such a way that he doesn’t see you as nagging or attacking him. Explaining to him in a calm and loving way (or even demonstrating) will have a much better effect for e.g.: “Thanks for doing the washing, I really appreciated it.” Vs. “Why can’t you do the washing for once?! Why is it always me?! I’m not your slave!”.
It’s pretty obvious that acknowledging what your man does instead of highlighting what he doesn’t will get you further (and your washing done!)
Being around someone all the time can sometimes be a bit smothering and it’s perfectly natural and healthy to want to have time on your own or with your friends. Don’t feel that just because you have decided to live together that you have to spend every single spare moment glued to each other’s side.
Spending some time apart also gives you the chance to appreciate and miss each other more; it breaks the daily cycle and gives each of you a fresh perspective.
The trick is to want to be around each other and not feel like living together was a bad idea, in some cases living together can be incredibly positive for the relationship, in other situations it can be the breaking point or a real eye opener, either way it comes with its challenges and takes the mutual effort of BOTH people involved.
Lastly don’t forget to laugh about things and have fun, you haven’t entered a prison sentence just a new chapter 🙂
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