The 2 Bummers in Love


1:He’s perfect on paper , but you just don’t feel anything.

Ahh “if only” …a familiar phrase that comes to mind when we meet the man that just seems to tick all the boxes, but just doesn’t quite capture your heart.

It’s kind of like ordering the perfect meal, it looks good, and sounds too good to be true (not suggesting men are food!), but when you take the first bite, it just isn’t quite right.

So you take another and another, but you’re still not content, I mean sure you could eat the whole damn pie and you know it will serve its purpose and fill the hole, but it will never actually satisfy you.

Well so it is in this situation, it’s encouraging meeting someone who seems like they have everything you’ve dreamed of, I mean seriously even their dog is as perfect as their hair! But what happens when you realise that, well…you just don’t seem to be skipping a heart beat for him?

We start to wonder one of two things, firstly: Is there something wrong with me? No there isn’t, at the end of the day after all the aesthetics are taken away, if you don’t feel emotionally drawn or connected to this person then it’s just not the right man for you.

Secondly we ask: Should I just give it a go anyway? In other words should you compromise your feelings (or lack thereof) just to try and fit into the pretty little picture painted in your head? It’s the Cinderella- shoe- doesn’t- fit concept (yes this is a scientifically based very deep theory!)

Basically you can try and squeeze this man into your heart and life and after a lot of uncomfortableness, it will become evidently obvious that well…he doesn’t fit and will just cause your bunions! #Bummer

2: You’re in love with him but you both know it’s not right.

Hmm probably a lot worse than the first one, not going to lie…mainly because there are strong feelings involved. To paint the picture ; think of two people in a relationship and in love but circumstances or personality traits, or even timing makes it impossible for them to be able to co-exist together in a healthy and functional way.

It’s quite awful, because sometimes circumstances are out of your control, life can throw you a curve ball and it can alter your relationship status. However there are times when women can start falling in love with a man who isn’t in ideal circumstances, for e.g.: he’s still married, lives far away, has emotional baggage etc.

I think when we meet someone it’s always wise to try and set our heart and indirectly our relationship up for success by making conscious decisions. I

’m not saying you should only think with your head and not your heart (otherwise we would have bummer number 1 again), but be aware of the whole picture because once you fall it’s harder to gain perception and even harder to walk away.

Look at your compatibility scores, the fundamentals, the current situation and the mutual things you both want now and in the future. Love isn’t easy but it doesn’t have to be the hardest thing you do. Can you control who you fall in love with?

Well to some degree yes…but let’s save that for anther blog. #MajorBummer

The moral of the story…..
Don’t lose your faith in love so much so you are willing to give up on it just to have a man that fits the bill. But be aware of who you both are and the circumstances you are in, use your mind as well as your heart, and if all else fails buy 72 cats!! #jokes

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