It really can be a puzzle sometimes, knowing exactly what it is that men want or expect on a first date?! Well Ladies I have done the hard work for you and have asked several guys what the top 5 things are that we do wrong on a date, and it turns out they are all easily fixed with just a few tips:
1: Stop trying so hard
OK so you are nervous , it’s only natural to be , especially if your really like the man sitting across from you , and you really want to impress him . Ladies there is a big difference from making an effort to impress a man and going that little bit too far whereby you are no longer being you , but the person you think he wants you to be. A smart guy will be able to see through the pretense and will be turned off , mainly because it shows your insecurities . He isn’t judging you , he’s getting to know you , so be yourself , because if that ain’t good enough for him then you will have your answer about that second date you were already planning for in your head!
2: Don’t be so serious
Dating should be fun, it’s not about drilling him or interviewing future husband prospects! Let go of your high expectations and learn to just enjoy the moment and have fun. Men will be able to sense when you are putting too much pressure on them or the date and they will start running for the hills. Go on a date with the right mindset of just having a nice time, getting to know someone and taking it as it comes. Leave the heavy personal conversations for another time and stick to light banter and getting to know the basics about one another. My number one rule is never to talk about Ex’s ! It’s in the past and needs to stay there, besides there are way more interesting things to chat about so keep it uncomplicated.
3: Where is your confidence?
I have asked many men over the years what it is that is most sexy about a woman and the number one thing they said was : CONFIDENCE! Men love a confident ( not cocky ) woman, because what it shows is that she is aware of her value as a woman , she has purpose and knows what she wants out of life! This of course then signifies to him that you will be a bit of a challenge , that you won’t put up with crap and that you have a life outside of him. Use your nerves to your advantage and channel those butterflies into a bright smile , strong posture and an air of ” I’ve -got- this -because -I-am- fabulous”.
4: Don’t forget to flirt
Men take things literally , they tend to see things for how they are and don’t over analyse or read into things as much as we do ,so that means you need to literally communicate your interest in him. This isn’t about swinging your hair in his face or batting your eyelids so much so that ht thinks you have a medical ( or mental) issue, but rather using subtle body language to indicate that you are attracted to him. On a first date you need to keep your head level, but don’t be so mysterious that he accidentally takes your controlled and conservative behaviour as a NO instead of a hint that you want him to make the first move . Don’t be afraid to take control and lean in for the kiss, or flash him a smile . Make sure that your words match your body language and that he is aware that you are keen , because hopefully he is a gentleman and will wait till he sees the right signs from you . If you need more tips on how to flirt then click here
5: Dress to impress and make the effort!
On a first date you really do set a first impression , so make sure you go that extra mile with your appearance. It’s not about trying to look overdone or not being yourself , but rather showing him that you respect your time together and you want to look nice for him . This doesn’t make you weak , it show’s that you love yourself ! Men are visual creatures and they love it when women looks and feel good because they can then see your own self confidence soar. Take that extra bit of time to choose your outfit or do your hair, keep your make-up fresh and emphasize the lips or the eyes ( not both!) as those are usually the focal point for a man. Dress to your shape and colouring and always wear something that makes your feel beautiful .