Valentine’s Day : Here’s the answers to all those tricky questions!

It’s that one time of the year where we have a love hate relationship with a special day, and it’s upon us next week! Valentine’s Day is often associated with mixed emotions, unmet expectations, anticlimaxes and sometimes amazing surprises. So let’s take a look at some of the rules for how to navigate your way through this romantic and emotional minefield of a day!

Do I get the man a gift?

Yes! Depending on how long you have been with the man, it’s always nice to give something back. Whilst it seems more is expected of the man in way of gift giving and spoiling, remember we are now in the 21st century and should play fair fight. You’re gift doesn’t necessarily have to be material, but rather an act of service like cooking a dinner is sufficient. After all this is a gimmicky day so stick to just something that has a bit of thought put into it; don’t buy the man a Rolex!

What should I get him?!

This can be quite broad and the great thing is no matter how common or creative your gift is you still break even! My advice is to gauge the gift off three things: 1: Length of time you have been dating 2: How important Valentine’s Day and romantic notions are to him or you both. 3: How much money you are willing to spend. Gifts can vary from anything to a card, a dinner, chocolates, DVD, experience or even a plant (if you want to give a quirky twist on flowers!)

Should I expect something?

Totally! The problem is sometimes our expectations don’t always match reality or your man’s idea of romance. Yes we all know that we aren’t meant to get our hopes up, and bahumbug the day saying” it’s stupid and don’t believe in it” but secretly our little heart and fairytale brain waits in anticipation of even a simple rose being delivered! Hint to your man that you are “mildly” excited and are expecting something, let’s face it laying it out on the table means that he knows what is expected rather than abusing him on the day because he didn’t get you anything because you said it was a an unimportant day!

Roses and Chocolate right?

Hmm not so much anymore, they are the standard gift and you can’t go wrong with a nice bloom, but let’s try to get a little more creative and actually put some individual thought into the gift! (Men this goes for you too!) If your man decided to get you flowers (which is often expected) then that’s fantastic, the traditional fleur is of course a dozen long stem red roses #sigh, however he may not be aware and let’s not get caught up in the specifics but rather acknowledge whatever he does choose to bestow on us, even if it’s a cupcake or a plastic flower! What you want to look at is the thought and time he has put into this day, because whilst it’s a hallmark novelty, it’s also a special occasion to most women.

It’s our first V Day… what should I do/ expect?

This depends on how long you have been dating and if you have openly talked about this day. Yes I think you should expect a least a message and maybe a little chocolate or one flower even if you have only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks/months. Men know that this day means something to most women and can have massive repercussions. So chat casually to him about it, even if you just organise to go out for a drink, don’t feel like you can’t still make a day/ night of it just because you have only started dating; the right guy should want to make you feel special.

What do I do if he doesn’t give/get me anything or doesn’t believe in it?

Just because he doesn’t believe in it doesn’t mean he can’t indulge you once a year on this globally recognised romantic day! If it’s important to you even in the slightest way then let him know, men aren’t mind readers and you have every right to express how you feel. If he doesn’t give you anything on the day because he doesn’t believe in it then wait and see if he makes up for it in another way, because lets face it romance should never die in a relationship. Let him know if you are disappointed, don’t just say “it’s fine” because clearly it isn’t ! Clear communication is essential to a healthy positive relationship.

What happens if he forgets?

Not good, let’s face it he can’t forget something that is advertised since Christmas and surrounds him in every social, commercial and public way possible on the day! He either hasn’t made it a priority or is using that as an excuse to avoid the commitment that goes with a simple act of getting you a rose or card on such a day. The problem is both male and female parties build this day up to be something so much more than just a fun way to show someone you are thinking of them. So if he “forgets” kindly remind him, communicate how you feel, assess his character and then see what his next move is. The point here is that he hasn’t made you feel like a priority, which is upsetting and should be addressed in a calm manner.

How do I avoid disappointment?

Easy, don’t build this day up to be something it’s not, just have fun and take it as it comes. Let’s face a trip to Paris with a puppy and a proposal is a bit farfetched, so enjoy the day for what it is and let’s not build up unrealistic expectations in our heart and mind.

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